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 Go play in someone else's playground. I don't share my toys here, your comments are spammed and I never see them, and you need to get a hobby.
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Who is Vintage Mama?

14/08/08

 

I’m Sandra, a happily married and very confident mother to four children.

I am a great Attachment Parent to Brett (16), Justus (11), Autumn (4), and Ayla, who joined us on January 1, 2008 – the first baby of the new year in our hospital! Thanks for visiting my blog and reading my assorted musings!

I am a loving devoted wife, I am a great mother.  I am opinionated and outspoken, and will never apologize for that.  I have EARNED the right to be both.  I have experience.  I have education.  I have knowledge.  I have been rich and poor, single and married, childless and blessed with family.  I have traveled, I have married, I have divorced, I have suffered losses, I have celebrated gain.  I’ve lost a baby, and been blessed with four.  I have been a part of corporate America, been a business owner, and been unemployed.  I have done it.  I am an intelligent woman, but most of all I have common sense.  I do speak my mind, and I always will. 

*******************

 I have the utmost confidence in my choices.  I don’t question myself on how I raise my family of four.  I am right – for US.  I am 41 years old, and very proud of it.  My experience is priceless to me, and to some others.  I am a laid back mama, not falling into the trap of fearmongering, media hype, product hype, “expert” advice, or any other mainstream idea today.  I parent on common sense, intelligence, and instinct.  I’ll tell you here! 

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke.  I am a Conservative Republican.  I spent 20+ years in the financial industry.  I did everything from repossessing homes to IRAs to mortgage lending.  I would never subject myself to that again.

I believe in natural childbirth if at all possible, I don’t believe doctors play a part in a normal labor & delivery 95% of the time – I wish the Western world would adapt back to the understanding that childbirth is not a medical emergency, it’s a natural event and women are perfectly capable of controlling the situation.   Really.

Along those lines, I fully believe people need to take charge of their healthcare in general and not let a physician run amok on them.  Simply because they have a piece of paper on the wall doesn’t negate the fact that they are human, they do make mistakes, they don’t necessarily have the latest information, they don’t belong on a pedestal, and they don’t always know what’s best for YOU.  If you go in armed, informed, and ready to be a PARTNER in your healthcare, your doctor will appreciate it greatly.

I think that if you “Ferberize” or use Ezzo or the Pearls to get your parenting advice, Child Protective Services should be called in.  There is no other definition for their “expert” opinions other than pure child abuse.  Period.

I believe all children should be raised under the Attachment Parenting “standards”.  I don’t believe in sleep training, allowing a baby to cry it out, or any other mainstream “expert” practice that seems to be infiltrating society over the past few years.  I believe wholeheartedly in the family bed, I advocate breastfeeding but understand the obstacles that can be in the way for some women and I don’t think formula feeding is the devil.  I love babywearing and absolutely believe every family should practice Gentle Discipline.  Hands are for hugging, not hitting.  I don’t look at my infants as inconveniences that must be molded to fit adult standards, but as little dependent beings that have a natural internal clock, instincts that must be nurtured, and time to grow before they must adhere to society’s clocks and standards.

I believe in self-feeding table foods to the babies, not feeding commercial jarred foods or even purees.  I know that a baby, once reaching the age of readiness (around 5-7 months), is perfectly able to handle finger foods and this offers many benefits – not only the social aspect of sitting at the table with the family, but learning texture, feel, taste, and colors, all by being able to have food on the tray instead of on the spoon.  And this practice certainly is much cheaper and easier than buying bland jars or doing the “homemade babyfood route” of steaming/pureeing/separating/freezing/thawing/spoon feeding an infant.   Safe, recommended, wonderful self-feeding table foods.

I don’t worry about organics or the “Green Movement”.  My food is safe, delicious, and healthy, and just like three decades ago, the movement will calm down.  I don’t throw trash out my window, mind you, but I also know that changing out my lightbulbs isn’t going to contribute one iota to saving the world (except to make GE richer than God).  The world is fine.  It’s cyclical.  In 30 years we’ll be having a scare about an Ice Age.  People need to relax.

I can’t stand the BANDWAGON MENTALITY.  People jump on just because it’s the thing to do.  

I believe our world is INCREDIBLY safe, and we are very lucky that’s a fact.  I raise “Free Range Kids“, who have the ability to play outside alone, visit friends in the neighborhood, and walk/bike into the city (all age appropriate, of course), without parental supervision.  Since the world is wonderfully safe, I don’t worry that anything will happen, and I am giving them the gift of experience, independence, education, fun, and a real childhood.  Something some of today’s kids are sorely missing because of media fearmongering.

I am Christian but fully intend on letting my kids explore their own religions.  I am not racist, I am not bigoted, I am not prejudiced, and I hope to pass that along to them.  I am kind, I am a good friend.  I have no trace of jealousy in my body.  I don’t worry.  These are also emotions that are wasted.   I hope my children learn to be laid-back and relaxed in their lives.  I will support them in whatever path they choose to take, as long as they are happy in that path.

I may not always word it properly, I may sound brash or determined, but I mean well and just want to help when I give my own parenting opinions.  If I have only helped ONE person stop letting their baby cry, or got ONE person to tell their doctor what they want, or ONE person to try natural childbirth, then I am happy.

I fully believe and support the death penalty for any non-self-defense murders.  I also believe there should be a gas chamber right outside the courtroom, and sentenced monster gets escorted right in after being found guilty – thus saving 15 years’ worth of senseless appeals on my tax dollars.  And saving 30 years of cable TV, lawyer fees, education, food, shelter, weight rooms, electricity, water, and whatever else we give these beasts.  They live better than some honest Americans.  This has gotta stop.

I don’t believe a wife beater can ever be rehabilitated.  I think once a violent man, always a violent man.

Child molesters need their organs removed in a public square, sans anesthesia.  With a rusty knife.  Period.

 

And last, I live by the mantra “In 10 years, will it REALLY matter?”.  You’ll find that a lot of things don’t – like the toddler jumping on the couch, or the baby finding a crayon and marking the walls.  Nothing to stress about at all.

Me & My Shadow

19 Comments »

  1. Hi, Sandra- I just wanted to say that your daughters are beautiful. At 43, I feel like a geriatric mom as well. It seems a lot harder than it did 14 years ago when my son was young. I also did/do attachment parenting with my kids including the family bed. There is nothing sweeter than baby breath on your face at 3AM. I think it is interesting that we have so many similar ideas-castration, death penalty, and life sentencing for wife beaters, and yet I define myself as moderate with leanings to both sides. Once again, the perfect presidential candidate is not out there for me and I have to pick who I see as the least damaging. Isn’t that a shame.

    Comment by S. Dalton — September 10, 2008 @ 1:05 pm

  2. Sandra,

    I love your blog. It is one of the blog I have to browse every chances I get. By the way, I found your daughter pictures on this link. Is she related to you? (link edited)

    I don’t want to cause any trouble and I don’t have your email address so I have to do it here.

    Anissa

    Comment by Anissa — September 10, 2008 @ 6:15 pm

  3. I have to be honest, after talking back and forth a bit, I am just now starting to read about your opinions on life. And I laughed a few times because you and I share similar opinions about most topics. I read what you said about murderers and child molesters to my hubby and he said “I like this woman!” I must say I’ll be reading more of your posts now! Thanks for starting our blogging relationship!

    Comment by Naomi — October 19, 2008 @ 10:36 pm

  4. Hi Sandra
    I first met you on BabyCenter (Sami06) and was wondering what came of you and found your blog… hope you don’t mind if I peek in on your life

    Comment by Mary Snooks — November 11, 2008 @ 3:19 pm

  5. Hi Sandra,

    I never told you how much I appreciate the view that you assisted me in haveing on being a mother. I learned a lot from you while we were on BBC and most I learned to do what felt right for my daughter and to trust my instincts over any “advice” I was given. I am glad to see everyone is growing and striving and still look as happy as can be. Take care and keep up the great work. Happy Belated Birthday Ayla! :)

    Comment by Caty — January 8, 2009 @ 3:34 am

  6. “And last, I live by the mantra “In 10 years, will it REALLY matter?”. You’ll find that a lot of things don’t – like the toddler jumping on the couch, or the baby finding a crayon and marking the walls. Nothing to stress about at all.”

    LOL, if parents w/ only young kiddos realized how very true this comment is they would save a few years of their lives that will surely be spent fretting over TOTALLY inconsequential matters!

    Comment by S Petersen — January 12, 2009 @ 3:57 am

  7. WOW…Very well said! I just found your blog today and I am certain I will return.
    I am 42 and also the mother of four.

    Comment by Moody Monica — January 17, 2009 @ 8:45 pm

  8. [...] January 19, 2009 at 11:11 pm | In Postpartum | Tags: doctor, family, health Thanks to Geriatric Mama for refering me to this excellent article on delaying feeding solid food to your [...]

    Pingback by Delaying solids « Welcome to Birth a Miracle Services weblog! — January 20, 2009 @ 1:11 am

  9. I really enjoy reading your blog and you should submit this “about me” page to NPR’s This I Believe! It would be perfect.

    I work with a nonprofit that is sponsoring a contest with a $1000 prize for the best educational video about options during pregnancy and childbirth. Seems like it would be up your alley. It would be fantastic if you wanted to help us spread the word by blogging about it. Contest rules are here: http://www.birthmattersva.org/videocontest.html or you can send people to the Facebook page here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=73753459808#/group.php?sid=e146cf29ff029d1148a6a465af742146&gid=73753459808

    Comment by Sarah — February 10, 2009 @ 3:24 pm

  10. Well, I guess I’m a geriatric mama also. I’m 40. My 5 kids are aged 4 months – 17. I absolutely love that you are so confident and straightforward. I wish I had that quality, but unfortunately I worry too much about offending people and end up hurting people by being passive-aggressive rather than just saying what I feel up front. I am working on it though… Have you thought of entering the Oh No You Didn’t blog contest? I bet you have some excellent comebacks, assuming someone ever said anything like that to you. :-) I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog. BTW, that contest is on Twitter Moms is you are interested, http://www.twittermoms.com/forum/topics/oh-no-you-didnt-contest …

    Comment by maureensk — February 13, 2009 @ 6:21 am

  11. sandra, you are super cool. i love what you say and your passion in it. thanks for being real. and for sharing your way with so many here on your blog…….

    Comment by cricket desmarais — February 19, 2009 @ 11:55 am

  12. Sandra—Great stuff here. You can have a cup of coffee at my house any time. And I guess I’m a geriatric mom too at 44. ;)

    Comment by therealmotherlode — March 2, 2009 @ 12:21 pm

  13. Awesome!! Oh, you are SO going on my blogroll! :)

    Comment by DarcsFalcon — March 12, 2009 @ 8:38 pm

  14. Sandra – Thank you for visiting my blog, http://www.downtoearthparenting.wordpress.com. I just looked at yours and we have so much in common. I’ll keep reading if you will too. Someday we must meet as I know we have the energy to change the world. I am new to blogging but have written a book on creative parenting called, “Sine Que Non; Without Which Nothing – The essential, crucial, or indispensable ingredient without which something would be impossible.” It is about Parenting children from birth through their early years preparing them for life. Without early parenting there is no preparation, without preparation there is nothing. Let us stay in touch.
    SandraGunn

    Comment by sandragunn1 — March 18, 2009 @ 7:13 pm

  15. Sandra-how are you and family doing? Thanks for casting comments in my blog, http://familyliferesources.wordpress.com/. They would be another extra information for me as well as to the readers. I checked out yours, and I found it awesome. It should be a cool reference for my blog. I enjoy reading it. I just started my blog a few weeks ago, when family matters came over to my mind. I’m happy you found me with your great writings. Please, feel free to share your wisdom.

    Regards to your lovely children.
    Toni Kuswantoyo.

    Comment by tonikuswantoyo — March 19, 2009 @ 12:59 am

  16. I love your site. As a 39 mother of 2 (2 1/2 and 7 months – planning on one more) I guess I am geriatric myself, though I feel fabulous and gorgeous (ok minus the belly flap). As a breastfeeding, occasionally co-sleeping, free-range, mud-loving, attachment parenting mother it is nice to see a site that supports this. I just started a blog on motherhood and trying to conceive (I’m a fertility acupuncturist) after seeing Oprah last week, it was hilarious, but SO negative. I like blogs that admit to the dark side of parenthood, but that still believe in it’s ultimate beauty and inspiration. My site is http://www.premamama.com. I’ll be reading your site often now that I found it!

    Heather Pentland

    Comment by bairn — April 9, 2009 @ 3:12 pm

  17. Hi Sandra! Love your blog. :o ) Love your views!

    Amber

    Comment by Amber — April 22, 2009 @ 11:18 pm

  18. I always look for your responses on the mothering boards because you reassure me with your confidence and common sense. Prior to having my 6 month old DD I was a Type-A, it has to be done a certain way, schedule driven Project Manager. You can imagine my shock at becoming a breastfeeding, AP, Baby wearing SAHM to a little Miss with a definite sense of her wants and needs. Thank you for calming me down and helping me confirm that I am on the right path (how I long for the day that I can boldly state that I am confident in my parenting decisions!).

    Comment by Piper — August 10, 2009 @ 10:54 pm

  19. Great site…keep up the good work.

    Comment by Bill — September 1, 2009 @ 6:05 pm

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