“If you approach childbirth like an illness, and treat it like an illness, then the mom is going to respond like it’s an illness”.  Beautifully said.

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“The first intervention in birth that a healthy woman takes is when she walks out the front door of her home in labor.  From that first intervention, all others will follow.” – Michael Rosenthal, Obstetrician

[youtube=http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cqaXVGgbB7k]

with not ever having any more babies.

Hubby and I are both 41.  He’s done, he said.  He asked me if it was okay that he’s done, and what am I to say but sure? 

He said he wants to have some peace in his life in his “old age”.  I don’t.  I mean, our lives are only halfway over.  Our youngest will be “out of the house” when we’re only 60.  That still gives us a good 20+ years, God willing, to do… what?  Travel?  I’m not interested in traveling the world.  Relax?  That will kill me sooner than old age will.  What?  What to do with the last 20-30 years of my life?

I’m sure I’ll have grandchildren, again God willing.  And that’s great when they visit.  I’ll have chaos and noise and cook for lots of people, blah blah blah.  But then they leave.  And then what?  Silence.  Boredom.

Do I want to be a Walmart Greeter when I’m 65 just to have something to do?  Not really.  Will I just sit around and watch movies, play online poker, blog, and sleep?  Woo hoo, I’m getting my party hat out.

I have no medical reason not to have more children – my pregnancies and childbirths are fantastic.

And also, I truly regret not having my babies at home.  I really want to experience a home birth.  I don’t want a doctor near me.  I mean, my other labors were great – no intervention, natural, beautiful perfect labors.  But I want to be here, where it’s natural and normal and SHOULD be.  I want to experience a home birth.  More than one, if I could blow out the candles and make any wish I wanted.

I don’t want to be done.  I don’t feel like my family is complete yet.   And this makes me very sad.

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The trailer.  Bowing again to Naomi for finding such great information.  I am eagerly anticipating the release of the full length feature, lets all hope it hits home and changes the way we Americans think about childbirth!

Ladies, you HAVE to take charge of your own care.  This should not be tolerated.  Birth rape, like genital mutilation during childbirth (completely unnecessary episiotomies) should never happen.  Stay home if you can, get a midwife, get a low-inervention doctor.  Get someone who CARES. 

YOU are in charge of your birth, not the guy with a piece of paper on the wall.  Believe it or not, he may not know what’s best for you.

 

http://www.truebirth.com/2008/02/more-than-a-traumatic-birth/

Like rape victims, women who are victimized during birth are made to feel responsible for the act itself. They are told that it has to be this way, or that their baby will die if it isn’t done this way. Sometimes, they aren’t even given the opportunity to say no, as they are (like Pam) held down against their will. Later, they are told that they were bad, and it had to be done. Coercion is a tactic that many assailants use.

Congratulations on your new blessing!

Laila was on the Today show talking about her childbirth.  I must say - congratulations for wanting a home birth, arming yourself with the information to be able to have minimal interventions, and being determined not to have unnecessary medical assistance.

Laila did end up having to have her baby in the hospital due to a “growth restriction” (known about beforehand), but she still opted for low interventions.  She said she wishes more women did their research on their options, and recommended “The Business of Being Born”!!!  I love it!   She says she plans on doing a special herself, so ladies, we have yet another voice out there that will surely be heard.

I quote:  “Women’s bodies were made to do this.”

God bless you.  Laila, you have a new fan in me, girl.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVf4rzam0Xo]

I implore more parents to be proactive during this most wonderful time in yours and your infant’s life.

Beyond that, I even implore those who can to stay out of the hospitals altogether and contact a midwife organization and have that baby safe and sound right at home – where it should be.  Calm, quiet, loving, wonderful. 

 

 

I want to thank Naomi for bringing this video to my attention.  I love your blog!!!

I love blogs.  I read them whenever I get a chance.  I never have time for my Koontz novels, but blogs make up for it.  I love people letting me into their lives, a little bit at a time, and I try to do the same… I didn’t truly understand the blogging world until I joined, and I’m hooked.

In reading these blogs, however, it seems as if there’s an overlying theme – pregnancy and childbirth are awful.

I wonder why this is?  Is it because those of us, and there are many, that had pleasant pregnancies and beautiful, great labors just don’t blog about it?  Is it because in chat rooms and pregnancy sites you don’t read about those that didn’t throw up every day, and those that had fantastic labors?  Could it be the Media Effect – pain and suffering sell, but butterflies and rainbows don’t?

Now to stretch this even farther – could this contribute to new soon-to-be-moms predetermined to have uncomfortable pregnancies and labors that aren’t what they dreamed about?? We know, scientifically, the mind controls a LOT.  If one goes into pregnancy assuming there will be puking, boobs that feel like they’re on fire, and the most horrible experience in labor that there is, can it not help to make it so, if they are inundated with information that says it’s ALWAYS this way????

I think it does.  I truly think the barrage of negative information has a definite effect on someone’s experience.  If they never HEAR good, what makes them think it CAN be good?

I challenge each and every mother to blog, write, chat, email, shout to the heavens… just plain SHARE their POSITIVE, wonderful experiences with pregnancy and childbirth with anyone that will listen.  I think we can make a difference.   

I am one that never once had morning sickness.  Ever.  I didn’t have hemmies during every pregnancy (I had them with one, I think because I gained weight so fast), I didn’t have boobs so sore I couldn’t walk fast, I didn’t live on an emotional roller-coaster.  It was fantastic.  I felt great.  I felt healthy.  I felt happy.  It can happen.  It DOES happen.

I had four natural, wonderful, completely and totally intervention free childbirths.  I never went through a childbirth class, and I definitely never listened to everyone telling me how I’d rather die than give birth.   And DEFINITELY ignored everyone that said I had to have drugs – since childbirth is NOT a medical emergency, I knew that’s not so at all.

I listened to my mother, who also had four natural, beautiful childbirth experiences.  I listened to myself, who knew I could go into labor with a positive outlook and make it exactly what I wanted.  I knew I would refuse interventions that were not absolutely necessary to save the life of me or my baby, I knew I would never stay in the hospital more than a few hours because recovering at home is much better for my physical and emotional well-being. 

Breastfeeding was a piece of cake.  Each baby (and mama!) took to it completely naturally.  I never had problems, pains, infections, nothing - at all.  One nursing strike by one baby – caused by a change in soap.  That’s all.

I felt fantastic within an hour or so of each labor.  I was dressed in “street clothes” and making coffee within two hours of each one.  It IS possible to feel great.  It happens a LOT.  My doc actually thinks women are pre-programmed to think they need to be incapacitated for 48 hours after childbirth, laying in bed and feeling terrible.

It’s just not predestined to be that way!!! 

Don’t get me wrong – there are those who have complications both in pregnancy and childbirth – but believe me, complications are NOT the norm.  I want to see those that had great pregnancies and great childbirths be LOUDER than those with horror stories now, and maybe we can make a soon-to-be-mom realize it doesn’t have to be all puke and pain… sound good?

“I’m at 39 weeks now, and oh how I dread the internal exams I have to have”

“I was SO hungry when I arrived at the hospital to have my baby”

“I hated having to stay in the hospital so long after my baby was born”

“My doctor said she would induce if I went to 41 weeks – I’m low risk!”

“My pediatrician said the baby HAD to have these six shots today”

As I blog more and more, I read about the complaints, concerns, and comments a lot of people are making during their medical care while pregnant, and at other times.

Ladies, PLEASE be proactive in your care.  Your doctor is NOT in charge of it, he is a partner in it - with YOU.  You have a say - in everything.  He does not belong on an unreachable pedestal.  He does not necessarily know what is absolutely best for you, and he does make mistakes.   You need to research, be informed, and make decisions on what YOU want as well.

For an example, those that dread those internal exams after 36 weeks.  Well, then Don’t. Have. Them. Done.  If you have no real MEDICAL reason for them, finding out dilation means zilch, zero, nada, nothing.  Less than nothing.  They don’t indicate when you’ll have the baby, so what’s the point?  Habit.  The docs have a habit.  And the exams can introduce infection, cause spotting or even bleeding, and make you cramp up.  They are NOT necessary.  Say no.  Your doctor will be fine!  If you want them, well fine – but don’t think for a minute that you HAVE to have them.  I’m addressing this to the hundreds of women that I’ve read that complain about them.

Here’s another secret – they’re not necessary when you’re in labor either.  You shouldn’t have 50 people checking your dilation every 5 minutes.   Once or twice the entire time should suffice – if you’re a 2nd time mom, you shouldn’t need any – you will know when to push.

You know what else?  You don’t have to have the IV in labor if you’re low risk.  You can walk.  Non-stop fetal monitoring is not necessary for low risk babies.  Laying down to give birth is not the best way, it’s proven to interfere in the natural process – so GET UP.  Sit up to give birth, tell them the stirrups can go away.   STAND if you want to.  Heck, the “rule” about having to have the baby 24 hours after your water breaking is no longer even in effect!!!  Actually, just stay home most of your labor, and you’ll find that your experience is much better than heading out to the hospital at the first signs…

And yeah, you CAN eat and drink while you’re in a normal labor.  This is an old old practice that was debunked a very long time ago, but for some reasons doctors can’t let it go.  A stomach is never truly empty anyways.

And no, you don’t have to stay in the hospital after your baby is born.  I am shocked at the amount of women that thought they HAD to stay, like it was a law or something.  If everything is fine, go home.  After three or four hours, if everything is cool, GO HOME.   The docs have never had any problems signing me and baby out.

These are just a few examples.  If you go to your doctor armed and informed, he will appreciate your concern about your own health.  Start this way, and you will be proactive in your child’s care too – there’s a lot of choices you get to make as the parent – choices that the docs have no business making without discussing them with you and being a partner in your family’s care.

(I feel obligated to add the disclaimer that yes, there will be exceptions to the rule – I write these things under the assumption of low-risk pregnancies (about 93% of them), healthy babies, etc. etc. – I don’t want 100 comments about you or a friend or a friend’s cousin’s co-worker couldn’t do something, blah blah blah)…

I was asked to write out a better description of my childbirth for a childbirth publication.  I thought I would cut and paste what I sent the author and what I could recollect from Ayla’s birth here.  The other three were just about as uneventful!  I’m backdating this to January, even though I just wrote it this month (Sept 08). 

I have been fortunate and blessed enough to have four pain-free natural childbirths.  I will recant the story of my fourth, the most vivid in my mind, but very similar to the others.

Being 40 years old and getting ready to have my fourth child, I never dreamed I would make it to full term, 40 weeks.  My doctor also felt the same… so as my due date of January 1st got closer, we got more and more anxious for the day to arrive.  We anticipated having the baby around mid-December.  Well, Christmas came and went and still no little bundle of joy… but then on the morning of January 1, around 3:00 a.m., my water broke (my water has broken at home for all of my children).  I called the doctor to let her know what had happened, but I was not having any contractions so I didn’t feel it was time to head to the hospital.  I know there’s no urgency even when water has broken.

Then my doctor reminded me of how long my last labor was – 46 minutes from the time my water broke.  Okay, maybe she has a point.  Baby #1 took 89 minutes.  Baby #2 took 43 minutes.  My doctor didn’t make it to baby #3’s birth… but she wanted to be there for #4, so she instructed me to go ahead and head on in.  We lingered a little while at home, taking our time, and letting our teenager know we were leaving and that he was in charge of the family and would be back home in a few hours.  We got to the hospital around 4:00 a.m. or so.

This time they put me in the room across the hall from the coffeemaker.  See, they learn. 

I had refused all internal exams up to this point (at the doctor’s office and in the hospital) because frankly, they’re pointless.  So I could’ve been at 0 or at 10, we didn’t know.  My Birth Plan was very very clear in it’s instructions to the hospital, so when I arrived, I was left to my own devices.  I was escorted to a private room, where the lights were dimmed and my husband and I were left alone to enjoy labor.  I had no IV, no silly rules saying that I couldn’t eat or drink, no being stuck in a bed.  No nurses or doctors came in to intrude on this natural experience – no continuous fetal monitoring, no exams, nothing – it was perfect, just the way it was meant to be.

At 5:00 a.m., I felt the first real contraction.  I allowed my doctor to check me at that point, just as a baseline measure.  I also allowed her to put the fetal monitor on for a few minutes, again as a baseline.  I had my coffee in one hand, hubby’s hand in the other, and was enjoying this beautiful experience.  The contractions were coming fairly regularly, and as I did with the other three, I simply envisioned the rollercoaster ride – going up the hill is always a little scary, but when you hit the apex, you realize it’s all downhill from there – until the next incline… but they all are so brief, and yes, pain-free.  The mind is an amazing tool, it can make your body feel pain, or make your body reject pain.  It is true.  Through a form of modified hypnosis, I controlled the pain, and there was none.  Don’t get me wrong, there WAS discomfort, but never ever a moment when I felt real pain.  And since I went into all of my labors knowing medications and interventions were NOT an option for me, I didn’t have that “out” to think that I couldn’t complete my labor and deliver an alert, happy, healthy baby with no dangerous drugs in either of our systems.

I know some disagree and say you must be prepared for every situation, but I believe that as long as I didn’t have that “out” of medication, I was less likely to think about taking it.  I highly recommend this for every mother.  It’s absolutely possible to control the pain, control the situation, control your own childbirth.  Unless my life or my baby’s life was in imminent danger, drugs would never be allowed near us.  Period.

So, the contractions had begun.  I choose the sitting position for my labors because I believe that’s the most beneficial for gravity and nature to do it’s job.  So I was sitting, and riding through my roller coaster contractions, and truly having a good time.  Really.  The lights were kept low, I was in a birthing suite that didn’t make it seem like a hospital room, no staff other than my doctor were present, and all of my wishes from my Birth Plan were honored.  I was having fun.  At 5:49, I told my doctor to get ready, she was coming… at 5:50, I pushed her out.  My little miracle Ayla arrived in our world.  Weighing in at 8 pounds 5 ounces, she is tied with my second son for weight (my first was 8 pounds 10 oz., my other daughter was only 6 pounds 4 ounces).   My doctor counts labor as the time from contractions starting to the time she arrived, so we chalked up our third labor under an hour – 50 minutes.  And again, I fully believe my mind controlled the entire situation.

Per our instructions, she was left on my chest for quite a while – no doctors interfering with the natural bonding process between mama and baby (and Daddy too!).  She took to breastfeeding like a champ.  I did not authorize shots or other tests, that’s not for the baby so soon in her life. 

We left the hospital at 10:30 that morning, a short five hours after she was born (personally, I think it’s a waste of gas to go to the hospital at all, but that’s another story altogether).  Recovering at home was so much better than staying in a hospital, I can assure you of that!  I highly recommend that every mom and baby head home, providing all is well, immediately after birth.  I was so much more comfortable in my own bed, with my own shower, and surrounded by all of my family and friends.

 

And there’s my story!

We’re home with Ayla!  She was the first baby born at our hospital for 2008 – we made out with da gifts!

My water broke at about 3:00 a.m. this morning, and I deliberated going to the hospital because I wasn’t having contractions… but we called the doc and based on my history of labor, she told us to head on in just for giggles…  Got there at 3:30 or so… contractions started at 5:00 a.m., Ayla joined us after three pushes at 5:50 a.m. – au natural, as planned! 

We were discharged at 10:30 a.m. and are at home cuddling our new one… I will post pics here as soon as Daddy is done taking them – he’s going a little nuts! LOL!

Here she is at 5.5 hours old, safe and sound at home:

Thanks for reading, not very exciting I know… lol… so Ayla Kendra joined us 01/01/08 at 5:50 a.m., weighing a wonderful 8 lbs. 5.6 oz. with a head circumference of 14.5″ and a length of 19.5″.

I’m so thrilled to be holding her – finally!!!!!!!

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