“I’m not allowed to” (insert your own here) – drink and eat while in labor/get out of bed while in labor/refuse an IV/refuse constant monitoring/go home the same day/etc. etc. etc.

I know I’ve said it before.  I know I’m a broken record.  I don’t care.  I want women to have fantastic birthing experiences like I did.  Like millions of other women who take control do.

Who’s paying who for a service here?  YOU are paying THEM.  It’s no different than paying for a meal at a restaurant – you want steak, they say “oh, honey, no you don’t”, you INSIST that yes you do.  And you GET that steak. 

Your doctors are not gods.  They do not necessarily know what’s best for you at that exact moment.  If you are hungry, you need to eat.  If you are thirsty, you must drink.  If your doctor believes you can’t, then he needs to go back to medical school because that myth has been debunked over and over again.  No wonder women that labor for 5+ hours get weaker and weaker, and ultimately end up with intervention after intervention.  I wonder how many women that ended up having dangerous major abdominal surgery (okay, c-sections if it sounds better), because they couldn’t progress or couldn’t continue laboring, would’ve had wonderful normal deliveries if their docs hadn’t been wrong about them eating a sandwich and drinking a cup of coffee or a soda or a glass of water?  You can’t drive a car with no gas!!

And being forced to lay in a bed with monitors on is horrible!  If you are healthy, baby is healthy, and you are fine, your doctor cannot force you to lay in bed.  Get up.  Walk around.  There are many experts that think being hooked up to monitors leads to interventions too – baby’s heartbeat naturally speeds up and slows down, but docs jump so fast on the panic wagon that many women are led to believe their baby is in danger, when in fact there’s no problem at all.

And nope, they can’t force you to be hooked to an IV either.  If you’re aiming for a drug-free delivery (yay you!), and aren’t having pitocin or other dangerous meds to help this completely natural process along… refuse.  You have CHOICES!! I mean, this is your body!  This is your baby!  Want to sit up to give birth?  DO IT!  Don’t want genital mutilation – I mean an episiotomy?  Then TELL THEM!  Very VERY few deliveries actually “need” an episiotomy.  This is NOT routine, regardless of what your doc says.  Just like your doc will tell you the epidural is perfectly safe… you need to keep in mind that most “rules” are not made for mom – they’re made for the medical staff to have you on a timeline so they can schedule whatever else they have going on and so that THEY have control.  This is why that horrible and completely self-defeating lithotomy (flat on back) position for birthing started – it’s easy for the doc. 

You know what?  It doesn’t matter what’s “easy” for the doc.  He’s getting paid a great deal of money to perform a service for YOU.  Not the other way around.

Do your homework, ladies, I beg of you.  Arm yourself with information.  KNOW what you want.  I can assure you that your doctor and nurses will appreciate you taking some control over your situation.  And you know what?  If they don’t like you taking control because then they may not make it home in time to watch Grey’s Anatomy, too bad.

Don’t end up with a childbirth experience you will look back on and be sad about.  Make it a beautiful, glorious day, make it everything you want. Don’t have a “lay there and nod” mentality.  This day is ALL about YOU.  Those doctors and nurses will go home and then deliver 300 more babies this year – this is your ONE chance to make it perfect.  You have the control, the ability, and the strength to do it.

And you know what else?  You can go home right away, within hours, to recover safe and sound in your own surroundings.  Didn’t know you could do that either?  Yup.  They can’t force you to stay if you and baby are healthy!

Here’s sending loads of hugs and prayers to those that are experiencing the wonderful journey of pregnancy.  Congratulations!

http://mothering.com/guest_editors/quiet_place/quiet_place.html

God bless Peggy O’Mara, for articulating and researching what we already knew, that Rosin is just wrong:

In her article, Rosin describes her cursory review of the medical literature on breastfeeding to shore up her personal decision to possibly forgo it, and concludes that all the talk about the benefits of breastfeeding is just “magical thinking.” But it’s irresponsible to imply that such a brief and biased analysis of the medical literature could somehow trump the conclusions of the world’s leading health organizations and medical authorities. By now, the superiority of breastmilk to formula is axiomatic.

Peggy asks us:

This is no time to waver: Powerful economic and political forces are continually undermining breastfeeding progress. Surely, we need state and federal protections for breastfeeding—that’s a given. To achieve our national health goals, we—like our sisters around the world—also need guaranteed health care, paid family leaves, and caregiving credits. Bottle-feeding is an old-school feminist solution to inequality. The equal-rights arena of today is breastfeeding.

Read the article – it’s fantastic.

I’m weird.  Yeah yeah, not a surprise to most of you.

I’m officially a blog-surfer-addict.  I love love love being let into other people’s lives, a little bit at a time.  The tags I mostly follow are the childbirth, pregnancy, newborn, toddler, infant nutrition, and teenager tags – obviously the ones closest to home.

I read several blogs yesterday that talked about the first few weeks at home with a new baby, and they all had the same theme.

Stay. Away. From. Everyone.

These were either blogs for visitors – family members and friends of women about to have babies… or blogs for preggos themselves.  Tell visitors not to come over, unplug the phone, blah blah blah… all because you’ll want this time to “recoup”, “recover”, “get settled”,  ”whatever”.

Well, again I must go against the grain.

I WANTED a house full of people, from the minute I walked through the door!  When I came home with Ayla, she was .about 5 hours old.  We stopped at Tim Horton’s on the way home, got donuts and mochas for the kids, and walked in the door to Grandma and Grandpa waiting to hold their new grandbaby.  A few hours later, Aunt Deanna came by, then other visitors by the score.   Come see me!  Bring food!!

I LOVED it.  I love passing around the baby (nope, I don’t believe for a millisecond that no one can breathe within three feet of her for six months lest she get the sniffles – I don’t know what nasty diseases these “expert’s” family and friends always have that they say baby should not be around them).  I love feeding people.  I don’t know why every new mom is told she’ll be incapacitated and won’t even want to heat up a bowl of soup – I was able to cook dinners to feed six people the same weekend I had the baby.  I felt great. 

And I think a lot of new moms would feel better if they knew they were allowed to.  Does that make sense?  This is something my doc said to me… she said new (and veteran!) moms were programmed to think that after childbirth they are to lay around for 72 hours, then go home and be incapacitated for weeks.  Maybe even months.  I wonder if they take the recommendation (and it’s only a recommendation!) to wait six weeks for intercourse as “It will take six weeks for you to be back to YOU”.

And don’t get me wrong – before I get slammed with 300 comments and emails about bad labor experiences or risky c-sections and how you DID need weeks to recover, or health problems that you had that you needed weeks to recover, or baby has a health issue… I’m talking about the vast VAST majority of childbirths, not the exceptions to the rule.

And yes, there’s also those out there that WANTED to be taken care of for days or weeks.  And that’s fine too.  More power to ya.  I don’t like “being taken care of”.

So anyways, that’s my rant for the day.  I just don’t think it should be an across the board YOU WON’T WANT VISITORS (or you SHOULDN’T HAVE VISITORS) FOR WEEKS statement.  I don’t get the whole “stay alone cooped up in the house for weeks after you have a new baby”.  I wanted – NEEDED –  to get out and show off the new blessing, pass them around, have people in, whatever.  Besides, it’s a much needed break when you play “pass the baby” - you can get a shower long enough to shave your legs!

http://health.usnews.com/articles/health/childrens-health/2008/12/11/a-parents-guide-to-managing-vaccinations.html?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=&utm_content=&utm_campaign=vn

I love that the CDC says, and I quote, “CDC recommendations aren’t set in stone; the agency advises doctors to “explore acceptable options,” if that’s what parents prefer, such as immunizing on an “alternative schedule” or delaying vaccinations until a child is closer to school age.”

People being advised by their doctors that there is only ONE way to vax your children need to be re-educated.  We’ve lost the meaning of the word “recommendation” and seem to think it means “must do it this way or else”. 

I don’t believe vaxes cause autism, per se.  I think they may trigger something that’s already there, but I don’t know.  That being said, it would be a rare occurrence, if it happens.  I do believe in fully vaxing my children (sans flu and chicken pox, which I don’t find necessary).  However, I don’t believe, after lots of research, that a little baby needs all those shots at one time – there’s no medical reason I need to overload her little immature system with so much at once, when it’s perfectly fine to spread them out.  I have friends that have been called stupid for delaying vaxes.  I had to leave my own family doctor of over a decade because she told me it would be “irresponsible” for her to delay vaxes.  Why is this ignorance and unwillingness to explore options so rampant?

Great article, I love that a major media outlet is supporting Dr. Sears’ book.

Why babies should never sleep alone.
 

At very least, we hope that the studies and data described in this paper, which show that co-sleeping at least in the form of roomsharing especially with an actively breast feeding mother saves lives, is a powerful reason why the simplistic, scientifically inaccurate and misleading statement ‘never sleep with your baby’ needs to be rescinded, wherever and whenever it is published.

Co-sleeping is natural, loving, and safe

Hat tip to my fellow blogger and Attached Parent, Megan.

(hat tip to Rixa, once again!)

From the article:

For many pregnant women in America, it is easier today to walk into a hospital and request major abdominal surgery than it is to give birth as nature intended. Jessica Barton knows this all too well. At 33, the curriculum developer in Santa Barbara, Calif., is expecting her second child in June. But since her first child ended up being delivered by cesarean section, she can’t find an obstetrician in her county who will let her even try to push this go-round. And she could locate only one doctor in nearby Ventura County who allows the option of vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC). But what if he’s not on call the day she goes into labor? That’s why, in order to give birth the old-fashioned way, Barton is planning to go to UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles. “One of my biggest worries is the 100-mile drive to the hospital,” she says. “It can take from 2 to 3 1/2 hours. I know it will be uncomfortable, and I worry about waiting too long and giving birth in the car.”

Much ado has been made recently of women who choose to have cesareans, but little attention has been paid to the vast number of moms who are forced to have them. More than 9 out of 10 births following a C-section are now surgical deliveries, proving that “once a cesarean, always a cesarean”–an axiom thought to be outmoded in the 1990s–is alive and kicking. Indeed, the International Cesarean Awareness Network (ICAN), a grass-roots group, recently called 2,850 hospitals that have labor and delivery wards and found that 28% of them don’t allow VBACs, up from 10% in its previous survey, in 2004. ICAN’s latest findings note that another 21% of hospitals have what it calls “de facto bans,” i.e., the hospitals have no official policies against VBAC, but no obstetricians will perform them.

Read the rest of the article here.

Rixa asks all of us:

I feel that access to VBAC is one of the most pressing maternity care issues in this country, along with the disturbingly high cesarean rate (31.1% as of 2006). Please advertise this article widely, making sure to link to the original article on Time’s website. The more traffic it gets, the longer it will remain online.

Too many doctors and hospitals are overusing high-tech procedures

http://www.consumerreports.org/health/medical-conditions-treatments/pregnancy-childbirth/maternity-care/overview/maternity-care.htm?loginMethod=auto

The report found that, in the U.S., too many healthy women with low-risk pregnancies are being routinely subjected to high-tech or invasive interventions that should be reserved for higher-risk pregnancies. Such measures include:

• Inducing labor. The percentage of women whose labor was induced more than doubled between 1990 and 2005
• Use of epidural painkillers, which might cause adverse effects, including rapid fetal heart rate and poor performance on newborn assessment tests
• Delivery by Caesarean section, which is estimated to account for one-third of all U.S births in 2008, will far exceed the World Health Organization’s recommended national rate of 5 to 10 percent
• Electronic fetal monitoring, unnecessarily adding to delivery costs
• Rupturing membranes (“breaking the waters”), intending to hasten onset of labor
• Episiotomy, which is often unnecessary

In fact, the current style of maternity care is so procedure-intensive that 6 of the 15 most common hospital procedures used in the entire U.S. are related to childbirth. Although most childbearing women in this country are healthy and at low risk for childbirth complications, national surveys reveal that essentially all women who give birth in U.S. hospitals have high rates of use of complex interventions, with risks of adverse effects.

 

Hat tip to Pushed Birth for finding this article!

I got such great responses from my “Did you know” (Pregnancy & Childbirth)” that I figured I’d do a quick one on newborns too!  Just some money- or time-saving tips from a mom that’s been there… four times.

Did you know:

• That you don’t have to sterilize bottles, nipples, and pacifiers?  Warm soapy water or your dishwasher are just fine.  Save all that time you’d waste (and the money on those commercial sterilizers!) and snuggle your baby, while the dishwasher safely cleans your things.
• That you don’t have to separate baby’s clothes and/or wash them in a different detergent?  Unless your healthy baby has a VERY RARE sensitivity to your regular detergent, don’t waste your money on “special” (read:  money-making) brands marketed towards your baby’s clothes. 
• That fabric softener is just fine.  I’m sure you’ve heard/read/been told that baby’s clothes have a flame retardancy in them that fabric softener will destroy.  Well, the flame retardancy is a NASTY chemical that I personally don’t want near my baby’s skin anyways; over time it will wash out; and I would rather have soft, good smelling clothes on my baby than ones that a cigarette can be put out on!   The supposed flame retardancy won’t save your baby’s life in the event of a fire, in my opinion.  I use liberal fabric softener so my baby’s clothes are soft next to their delicate skin.
• That your municipal tap water may actually be safer than bottled water and/or “nursery water”?  your city water system is monitored very closely, and unless a warning has been posted, it is absolutely safe and fine to use for your baby’s bottles if you use formula.  Bottled water and nursery water are not as stringently regulated, are most likely from municipal sources anyways, are are frankly a waste of money.  Use your tap.
• That your bottles don’t need to be heated up?  If your baby likes it, give her room temperature or even cool formula.  Makes life much easier when you’re out and about, and don’t need to try to figure out how to warm a bottle.  This also makes middle of the night feedings easier.  Have a bottle of room temperature water on the nightstand, with a container of formula right there.  Mix it in a second and feed baby – no heating, no fuss.
• You can bite their little fingernails to trim them when they are sleeping in your arms, if you’re afraid to use clippers or just can’t seem to get them short enough with them.
• That a sink bath is just fine.  I never had a separate plastic bath that I had to fill/bathe/wash/store for such a short amount of time.  Wash baby in the kitchen sink so you’re not bending over, then in about 6 months or so, or when baby outgrows the sink and can sit up, move to the “big” bathtub.  Easy, and free.
• Generic formula is just fine?  If you have to formula feed, save a LOT of money and buy generic.  All generic formulas must meet the same strict safety, nutrition, and manufacturing guidelines as the priciest products on the market.  The reason they’re less expensive is that the manufacturers of generic formula don’t spend millions of dollars on research or on marketing, and they don’t give away free samples the way some other formula companies do. They simply sell a product that meets the standards set by the United States Food and Drug Administration.  It does also boil down to baby’s taste – baby may prefer one over another, but most will be just fine with the taste of the store brand.  Buy generic diapers too, and save a lot!
• Cold air is not your enemy.  Just because it’s winter, don’t stay huddled inside.  Take baby for a walk in a sling or a carriage – it’s really quite good for them.  And no, cold air – in and of itself – does NOT make one sick, regardless of what grandma told you!
• Skip the highchair, and get a booster seat instead.  Most companies have boosters that grow with your baby.  High chairs take up a LOT of room, are harder to clean, aren’t portable, and baby isn’t truly at the table with the rest of the family.  Boosters are very easy to clean, baby sits right at the table, you can take it with you, and she can use it well into her toddler years, unlike a bulky highchair.
• If baby’s diaper just seems to always leak at night, and a larger size doesn’t work, don’t waste your money on the expensive double padded nighttime diapers.  Just slip a cheap generic feminine pad in night diaper.  It works.  Really.  For a fraction of the cost.
• If your baby sleeps in a crib instead of your bed, try layering sheets (mattress pad, absorbant pad, sheet, absorbant pad, sheet, absorbant pad, sheet) so middle of the night leaks or spit ups are easily cleaned – just rip the top two layers off and everyone goes back to bed fast!

I’m sure there’s more rattling about in my mind, but for now I will leave you with these!  If any experienced mom has hints of her own, feel free to comment and we’ll have a nice compilation for a new mom or two!

Did you know that YOU control your health care and the following is completely, 100% optional?

• GBS test (it’s rare that a baby will contract it, and studies show use of antibiotics to mom doesn’t reduce infant deaths anyways).  My labors, and millions of others too, have all been so fast that a postive wouldn’t have made any difference – no time for the meds anyways.  Do some research!  Take it if you want, but it’s optional.
• Any fetal testing such as nuchal fold, etc.  Do your own research.  False positives run RAMPANT here.  And what would you do with the results?  Would you terminate?  Can you really be “prepared” for a baby with Downs Syndrome?  It’s perfectly fine if you want them, just be aware of the options.  But don’t let a doc tell you that you MUST have them.  I personally just loved the ultrasounds, and I always wanted to find out the sex, but that’s as far as I’d want to go. 
• Any and all internal exams?  Dilation means ZILCH (less than zilch, actually) - you may be at zero and have that baby in 60 minutes, or at 4 and have it in two weeks.  Don’t let the doc do these uncomfortable exams, they’re not medically necessary in a normal pregnancy – I’m not too sure there’d be many reasons for them in a NOT normal pregnancy. 
  * They can cause cramping, bleeding, infection, and premature breaking of the waters.  They’ve even been known to start early labor. Refuse.  Better yet, ask the doc why.  If she says dilation, ask her what that means.  If she says anything other than “nothing”, find a new doc.  Oh, and hey, if you like these, more power to ya.  Whatever floats your boat.
  Internal exams during labor are optional too.  Personally, I only let the doc check ONE TIME when I think I’m going to want to start pushing, just to make sure I’m fully effaced and dilated.  Otherwise, it does me no good to have every nurse, medical student, and doctor messing with me.  See * above.  NO.
• Did you know that you don’t have to rush to the hospital (if you’re having a hospital birth) the millisecond your water breaks?  The “risk of infection after the water breaks” comes from the medical practice of 54 people must jam their hands up you to check your cervix from the minute you get into the hospital until you push out the baby.  Since no one will be doing that (see above), you don’t run the same risk of infection.  Stay at home as long as possible, labor comfortably and happily. 
• Continuous fetal monitoring in the hospital  (this, and all my pearls of wisdom, is of course based on a normal, low-risk pregnancy/childbirth).  This restricts mama to laying in a bed, which is the last position you should be while laboring!
• Don’t let them tell you that you can’t eat or drink either.  If you’re hungry, eat.  If you want a cup of coffee or a soda, get it.  This myth dates back a very VERY long time ago when the drugs used on moms for emergency c-sections were much harsher.  Also, your stomach is never truly empty, so have a cup.  The nurse is not the boss of you, and sometimes they don’t know better.  Not having something during longer labors actually weakens the mom, making the chance of drugs or risky surgery higher.
• The IV or even the heplock.  These frankly bug me, so I wouldn’t have one anyways, but I’ll bet the vast majority of moms who have had hospital births thought they HAD to have this.  Nope.  That’s what’s totally cool about it being YOUR body – you can say NO!  If, on the rare rare RARE chance you would need IV fluids or meds, the nurse can set it in a matter of seconds.  No need for the puncture and discomfort if it’s not necessary!
• Stirrups in labor?  This is ghastly to me.  First, laying down flat on your back is second only to standing on your head for horrible positions to be in to labor.  It defeats gravity.  Sit up, stand, get on all fours, or squat.  Let gravity work with you, let the natural shape of your cervix open wider and you’ll have a much better delivery.  The doc cannot force you on your back if you don’t let her.
• Immediate clamping of the cord and delivery of the placenta.  There is no rush for this.  Let it happen naturally.  Unless your baby has a problem and must be rushed off to the NICU, spend some time bonding, let the cord blood go to your baby (it belongs to her!), let the placenta come out when your body is ready. 
• This is a biggie:  A 48 or 72 hour hospital stay after a normal vaginal delivery.  I’ll bet the same is true here as in the IV – most moms think they’re not “allowed” to leave.  Well, you’re not a hostage, and if you feel good in three hours, GO HOME.  There are no laws, no rules that state a healthy mom and healthy baby have to stick around a nasty hospital (don’t fool yourself – they’re nasty).  Go home and recover where you’re comfortable.

Now, I’m not a doctor, but I’ve been there four times and learned a lot from experience.  The information on medical tests is out there, and the rest is common sense.  Talk with your doc, be a PARTNER in your healthcare, have the pregnancy and childbirth you’ve always dreamed of – one that YOU are in control of.

Better yet, just get a midwife and STAY HOME to safely have your baby.  You’ll feel better, baby will feel better, you will be in charge of your own body, and it will be a beautiful experience!!

http://rixarixa.blogspot.com/2009/01/just-birth.html

At its core, birth is so simple and yet such a mystery.