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- *CO-SLEEPING IS TWICE AS SAFE
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This is a “page”, but I felt the need to repost.
Safe Co-Sleeping Information & Co-Sleeping Survey - please visit!
Great CIO information (thank you, Mothering.com, for compiling the information – heaven knows I wouldn’t be able to find all the great links you do, what an amazing site of wonderful women you are!):
Responding to Baby’s Cries and why you shouldn’t let your baby “cry it out”
Science Says: Excessive Crying Could Be Harmful to Babies
Dr Sears
http://askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp
EARLY BRAIN DEVELOPMENT
What parents and caregivers need to know!
by Phyllis Porter, M.A.
http://www.educarer.com/brain.htm
Crying for comfort: distressed babies need to be held – Art of Mothering
Mothering, Jan-Feb, 2004 by Aletha Solter
http://www.accessmylibrary.com/coms2/summary_0286-20039587_ITM
The Dangers of Leaving Your Baby to Cry
By Margaret Chuong-Kim, M.A.
http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html
The Science of Attachment:
The Biological Roots of Love
by Lauren Lindsey Porter
http://www.naturalchild.com/guest/lauren_lindsey_porter.html
The Emotional Infant Brain
Part 1: The developing emotional subsystems of the brain process various information, including how to relate the state of the world with expectations.
http://www.fresnofamily.com/articles/aa040100a.htm
Stress in Infancy
by Linda Folden Palmer, D.C.
http://www.naturalchild.com/guest/linda_folden_palmer2.html
The Science of Attachment
By Kelley Shirazi
http://www.naturalfamilyonline.com/5-ap/312-responsive-parenting.htm
Mistaken Approaches to Night Waking:
Excerpt from Sweet Dreams: A pediatrician’s secrets for your child’s good night sleep, Lowell House, 22-28 By Paul M. Fleiss, M.D., M.P.H., F.A.A.P., 2000
http://www.nospank.net/fleiss2.htm
8 INFANT SLEEP FACTS EVERY PARENT SHOULD KNOW
Dr Sears
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp
CONTROLLED CRYING:
AAIMHI POSITION PAPER
The Australian Association for Infant Mental Health:
http://www.gymealily.org/resources_paperva7.htm
Fatherhood Basic Instinct
A dad can do so much more than defend the cave. New research shows that he too has the biological goods to nurture baby
By John Hoffman
http://www.todaysparent.com/lifeasparent/fatherhood/article.jsp?content=1225399A
MENTAL HEALTH EXPERT WARNS THAT POPULAR ADVICE TO IGNORE YOUR CHILD’S TEARS MAY CAUSE LIFE-LONG HARM
Amelia Hill
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/con…ioarticle.html
Why babies should never sleep alone: A review of the co-sleeping controversy in relation to SIDS,
bed-sharing and breast feeding
James J. McKenna* and Thomas McDade
Children Need Touching and Attention, Harvard Researchers Say
By Alvin Powell
http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNeedTou.html
CIO? No! The case for not using “cry-it-out” with your children
By Gale E.Ward
http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/attachmentparenting/cio.htm
A RECENT BLOG WITH GREAT INFORMATION AND LINKS:
Parenting Baby to Sleep
http://parentingbabytosleep.wordpress.com/2008/12/02/babies-%e2%80%9ccry-it-out%e2%80%9d-over-the-use-of-unsustainable-parenting-methods/
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http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T130300.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T130200.asp
- Attachment is a special bond between parent and child; a feeling that draws you magnet-like to your baby; a relationship that when felt to its deepest degree causes the mother to feel that the baby is a part of her. This feeling is so strong that, at least in the early months, the attached mother feels complete when she is with her baby and incomplete if they are apart.
- We will often use the term mother-infant attachment, not to exclude the father, but because, at least in the early months, in most families the mother- infant attachment is more obvious. This does not mean that a father can’t become deeply attached to the child, but it often seems to be a different type of attachment – not less or better than the mother’s, just different.
- Attachment means that a mother and baby are in harmony with each other. Being in harmony with your baby is one of the most fulfilling feelings a mother can ever hope to have. Watch a mother and baby who are attached (in harmony) with each other. When the baby gives a cue, such as crying or facial expressions, signifying a need, the mother, because she is open to the baby’s cues, responds.
- Initially, her responses may be a bit strained and not always what the baby needs. But as the mother-baby pair rehearse these cue-response interactions hundreds of times, after a few weeks or months into parenting this cue-response relationship becomes more natural and harmonious. The baby begins to anticipate the response that his mother will give and become further motivated to give more cues, because he learns that he will get a predictable response.
- Because the baby gives the mother the feedback that her mothering is appreciated, the mother-baby pair enjoy each other more. They get used to each other.
- One attached mother told us: “I feel absolutely addicted to her” – meaning that the mother feels right when she is together with her baby and not right when separated.
- You will know when you get that attached feeling to your baby. When your baby cries and you respond from your heart with a natural and not a strained response, you are attached. When your baby gives you a cue and you respond with a feeling of rightness about your response, you are well on your way to becoming an attached parent.
- Periodically check your sensitivity index . If you are becoming increasingly sensitive to your baby:
- Your baby’s cries bother you. You feel for your baby during colicky episodes. You are becoming attached.
- You are determined to work at developing comforting measures when your baby is fussy. You are becoming attached.
- You are learning to anticipate your baby’s needs. A facial expression, such as a grimace, precedes a cry. You respond at the grimace stage before your baby needs to cry. You are becoming attached.
- Your responses are becoming more natural; they flow intuitively. Instead of making a science out of your baby’s cries and going through mental gymnastics (Will I spoil her? Is she manipulating me), you naturally act and feel right about your response. You are becoming attached.









Thanks for helping spread this list of articles around. This list was actually developed by the moderators at kellymom.com and later shared on Mothering and in many other places too. Glad to have it shared around.
Comment by Annie @ PhD in Parenting — November 22, 2009 @ 2:43 pm
[...] Vintage Mama’s Rants: Why you should never let your baby cri it out (CIO) [...]
Pingback by IComLeavWe: Day 2 | PhD in Parenting — November 22, 2009 @ 3:13 pm
[...] Vintage Mama’s Rants: Why you should never let your baby cri it out (CIO) [...]
Pingback by IComLeavWe: Day 2 | PhD in Parenting — November 22, 2009 @ 3:13 pm
Thank you for putting all the info together into one page.
Comment by Summer — November 23, 2009 @ 9:46 am