Okay, now I must relive the story of my toddler not wanting to be a zombie, or a bloody prom queen, or a ghastly cheerleader.  I was devastated.  Cried – literally.  What has happened to my little girl?  Where do I get the DNA tests? 

Nope.  I will blame it on marketing.  The costume store had the Dora costume hanging right at 3 Year Old’s Eye Level.  Frankly, they could’ve doubled the price on it, and I’ll bet dozens of parents like us would’ve had to get it.

So she chose to be Dora.  I tried to talk her into Zombie Dora.  I could do it.  But no.  Dora. 

These costumes were bought several weeks ago.  Yesterday, as I’m spreading the blood and gore on my costume, the day of Beggar’s Night in our town (we do it on any day but Fridays and Saturdays, to avoid older kids causing too many problems…)… and she says she wants to be a zombie.

Needless to say, my heart burst with pride, but with only hours to go before we head out the door to claim our bounty, I am left with only a cute, colorful Dora costume to manipulate.  As I looked at the babe and thought about what has to be done there, thought about the decor that still had to go outside (all the stuff that plugs in/turns on/spews gas/jumps out), thought about still feeding four kids dinner… I actually TALKED HER INTO KEEPING HER DORA COSTUME.

One would think I had been drinking at this point, but no.  I’m still shocked I did it.  And it was good.  She was happy.  I was sort of happy.  But my hubby, in his words of wisdom as usual, reminded me that I still have Ayla to corrupt.  And it was good.

(for the record, I have several layers of clothes on, I’m no Kate Moss, but I’m not 10 of her either… lol)

She actually wore the wig all night. 

Putting makeup on a 10 month old is like trying to bend a potato chip.  But she thought it was HYSTERICAL.  She kept the Zombie Baby cape on the whole evening!

And with Daddy the silly clown…

We had a great time, the girls were phenom.  Autumn’s already talking about next year!

WARNING: DON’T WATCH THIS AT WORK!  Watch the whole thing, it gets better.  There’s lots of foul language, so if you’re offended, don’t even start.  But man, this is powerful.

[youtube=http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1Bf14G7_Jb4]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4PF_QMBvMs]

[youtube=http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=nligvgv3Rfw]

[youtube=http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=491_5WxfcgI]

I had to repost this great article from one of my favorite bloggers:  Let them Eat Unwrapped Candy!!

http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/2008/10/29/let-them-eat-that-unwrapped-candy/

I’m so old I remember back when Halloween was supposed to scare the kids.

Now it’s got a lot of parents shaking in their schlocky costumes, terrified that if they let their kids go trick or treating those kids may meet a fate far worse than too many Mary Janes. (“The candy everyone wishes was something else.” That should be its slogan.)

Parents worry their kids will be abducted, of course, or seduced inside for some Satanic rite. They worry the kids will come home with a big, shiny apple and fail to notice the big, razor-sized gash in its side. Most of all, they worry about unwrapped candy – as if any killer really bent on poisoning moppets would be stupid enough not to carefully glue-gun shut his tainted Snickers.

The thing that’s really spooky about all these fears is how gullible the parents are. I spoke with Joel Best, a sociologist who has studied post-Halloween newspapers going back to the 1950s, searching for stories of kiddie crimes. As far as he can tell, no child was EVER poisoned by a stranger’s candy on Halloween. It’s an urban myth. And in fact, the evidence was so convincing to him, he never looked through his own children’s candy before he let them eat it. (Or, for that matter, before he ate it himself.)

Read almost any parenting article today and they will beg you to please, PLEASE examine those treats for tampering. Keep Poison Control’s number handy. Better still: Just take your child to a Halloween party someplace you trust and don’t let them visit the (probably insane psycho-killing) neighbors at all. The only safe kid is the one kept in a pumpkin.

Provided there’s no candle inside, of course. And that you remove child before carving.

In honor of my 100th post (okay, I have more than that, but I saw this on another blog and enjoyed it…), I compiled a list of 100 things about me.  If you’re that bored and actually going to read this, well, good luck, and I’m sorry. 

1. I have four children
2. I want twice that many
3. I used to repossess homes for a living
4. I was attacked by a German Shepherd when I was a child – up until about 5 years ago they scared me to death
5. I have four cats and two dogs, and had two birds until they became a buffet for one of my cats
6. I married my boss (I also divorced him)
7. I am a Conservative Republican
8. I am Christian, but dislike organized religion so I never go to church
9. I type almost 100 words per minute
10. I have a handicap and get to park in the front row
11. I am a natural redhead and have never changed the color of my hair (I have hilighted it, however)
12. My favorite job was the Secretary to the President of a large company – I enjoyed getting his wife gifts and scheduling his veterinary appointments!
13. I flipped burgers in a fast food restaurant – for only eight hours… because it was a horrid job
14. I consider my husband my best friend
15. I am a photographer
16. I’ve lost a baby at 13 weeks
17. I had my jaws wired shut when I was 19, due to severe TMJ
18. I am a reality TV addict
19. I had a brief marriage when I was 20 that lasted 6 months – I don’t “count” it and never talk about it
20. I love football
21. I broke up with someone in high school because he had a brain “bubble” – if it dislodged he would die and it freaked me out
22. I have a banjo and want to learn to play it before I die
23. I was in choir in high school
24. My nickname was “Red” in school – from middle school on up
25. I hate Ohio drivers – well, I really hate pretty much every driver
26. I only have one pair of shoes
27. I have seen “An Affair to Remember” over 200 times
28. I hate shopping
29. I have been stalked
30. I lost my virginity at 17
31. I’m still being stalked
32. I still remember my high school boyfriend’s phone number – from 25 years ago
33. I’m utterly surprised that I’ve thought of 32 things so far, will be shocked if I make it to 100
34. I have a coffee stain birthmark barely visable on my calf
35. Speaking of coffee, I am a coffee addict – I drink several pots a day, from morning to bedtime
36. My favorite food is from the Japanese Steak House
37. My favorite snack is powdered donuts
38. I am an arachnaphobic – a SEVERE one
39. I love being pregnant
40. I played with a Ouija board once and it scared me to death – and I still have memories of it
41. I love love love horror movies
42. I’ve been robbed
43. My favorite actor is Cary Grant
44. I dated a 35 year old when I was 17
45. My favorite book is Momfidence, by Paula Spencer
46. I still want to hug my husband hard enough that I end up behind him
47. Some of my best friends live very far away and I’ve never met them in person
48. I love the family bed and wish everyone could experience how wonderful it is
49. I can’t eat scrambled or fried eggs without mustard
50. I am immune to poison ivy
51. I suffer from insomnia
52. I have never completed a home improvement project – something is always left undone, whether you can tell or not
53. I have been a victim of domestic violence
54. I have never skinny dipped
55. I didn’t experience pain in my drug-free childbirths
56. I support the death penalty whole-heartedly for any murderers (except self-defense)
57. My favorite subject in high school was English
58. I love doing laundry, but hate putting it away
59. I love playing euchre
60. I am the youngest of four siblings
61. I am hated on Internet chat rooms because of my laid-back, non-by-the-book parenting style that I freely brag about, and I love it
62. I’ve lived in three states – Ohio, Alaska, and Texas
63. I never went to a prom in school
64. I’ve been married three times
65. My first car was a 1969 Plymouth Valiant – and if I hadn’t wrecked it, I’d still be driving it – it was a great car
66. I can wiggle just one side of my nose
67. I’ve never been able to do a cartwheel
68. I used to be a bill collector
69. My best friend growing up was Cinda, and I miss her a lot
70. My sister and I are polar opposites and think we come from two different dads (LOL)
71. I’ve never met anyone famous face-to-face
72. I love to cook and would do it professionally if it didn’t require evening hours
73. I am addicted to The Food Network and it’s on most of the day
74. My ideal Friday night is being snuggled on the couch drinking hot coffee and eating popcorn, watching a thriller movie in the dark
75. I am even more stunned that I’ve thought of 74 things about myself than I was at 32 (cheating, I know)
76. I used to model when I was a teenager
77. I actually miss padded shoulders and wish they would come back in style
78. I was a “hood” in high school - because I smoked and wore leather jackets and concert t-shirts
79. My mom and I used to go out together to the bars to try to pick up dudes… we had a blast
80. I still remember the phone number of my childhood home
81. I once got so drunk I was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning
82. My first concert was the Scorpions
83. I sent wedding invitations to over 200 celebrities, and received about 30 autographed responses back (no one came… lol)
84. I have never questioned any of my parenting choices
85. My earliest childhood memory is of a “huge” gorilla in the basement that my brother teased me with
86. If I hit the lottery, the first thing I’d spend it on is electrolysis for my legs!
87. My favorite holiday is Halloween
88. I can’t sleep at anyone else’s home – even my parents; it’s either my house or a hotel
89. I could live in flannel pj’s if given the choice – I’ll even go grocery shopping in them… and have
90. I’ve never had a one-night-stand
91. I can’t stand female stand up comedians, except Paula Poundstone
92. Magic tricks piss me off
93. My dream vacation would be a trip to Venice
94. I suffer vertigo
95. I really want to be in the audience at the Ellen Degeneres show one day
96. I have been ”arrested” only once in my life – for a curfew violation when I was 17
97. I skipped school a lot – but still had a high GPA
98. I have never fought with my husband, in over 10 years together
99. I have to sleep with my right foot hanging off the side or foot of the bed to be comfortable
100. I have the best friends in the whole wide world

Those with older kids will know how often their “career dreams” change throughout their young lives.  From the age of 5 wanting to be a fireman or ballerina, to the age of 15 wanting to be a couch potato.  My 10 year old has gone from a writer to a SWAT team member to a forensic scientist to a writer and back again.  This is normal.

My 15 year old, however, watched a newscast a few years ago about how General Practitioners were fading… not many docs went into this general practice, they all seem to be choosing to specialize.  So he mentioned in passing that maybe he’d be a GP.  I took it with a grain of salt.  I’d guess this was about 3-4 years ago.

He’s never stopped talking about it.  I hate to get my hopes up, I really do – but he seems so FOCUSED on this.  He’s actually researched it.  He’s paid attention to the news.  He has tried to educate himself on what it will involve. 

Friday he came home from school bearing his grade card with a large stamp on it that said HONOR ROLL.  This is a first for this kid – he’s so smart, but he’s not “homework smart”.  Put a test, any test, in front of him that he never studied for, and he’ll ace it – not missing one question.  But give him boring homework and he just doesn’t do it – so he doesn’t get high marks because of missing assignments.  This boy, who a year ago found himself in a bit of trouble with us and had to stay in our Maximum Security PrisonHouse for six months, has evolved into a mature, responsible young adult, and I cried.  I cried when I saw the sheet, I cried when I called my Mommy to tell her that her grandson has his head out of his arse, I am choking up now as I type it.  But that’s not what really hit home.

He came home yesterday with the information about the vocational school he can go to next year as a Junior.  He took it upon himself to meet with the representative from the school (I had NO IDEA he was doing this), discussed whether or not the additional education had the courses required to jump start his career, and found that they do indeed offer the science courses necessary to begin a career in medicine. 

I think it’s really happening.

I thought the same when he started playing the saxophone in 6th grade though.  He got bored with that.  In his defense, he picked up this complex brass instrument and took to it like he’d been playing it for years, so maybe he got bored.  I paid for private lessons that I wonder if he even needed.  The boy was awesome.  But he wanted to stop.

From my mouth to God’s ears, let him not want to stop his dream of becoming a doctor.  I hope I don’t jinx anything by typing this out, but I could absolutely just BURST with pride right now.  All is right with my world.

I’m speechless, personally, that anyone in their right mind thinks this man is the one to run our country – and I don’t mean into the ground:

[youtube=http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=iivL4c_3pck]

If this man fools enough people to win this election, you better start hiding your cash in mattresses and taking inventory of your material possessions.

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