I have a new “name”!

I always have been, always will be – just didn’t know there was a name for it. 

Just like when I had my first baby, I didn’t know that the term “Attachment Parent” defined what I naturally, lovingly did, until now I didn’t know “Free Range Mom” defined what I do either… I love it.

I’ve blogged before about Helicopter Parents, Bullshit Stranger Danger (and BS means both the show and the danger, cuz it is BS), and the lady that let her 9 year old ride the NYC subway.  I know that the world is as safe, if not safer, than it was 30 years ago, a molester isn’t behind every bush, and yup, your kids can walk outside and be just fine without the Secret Service watching their every movement.  I hope to perpetuate her information, and help other parents let their children be, well, children.  Since the odds are higher that my doctor or my car will kill my child, I happily, confidently let them “roam” free, knowing – KNOWING – they’re going to be just fine!

I love this blog… check it out here!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVf4rzam0Xo]

I implore more parents to be proactive during this most wonderful time in yours and your infant’s life.

Beyond that, I even implore those who can to stay out of the hospitals altogether and contact a midwife organization and have that baby safe and sound right at home – where it should be.  Calm, quiet, loving, wonderful. 

 

 

I want to thank Naomi for bringing this video to my attention.  I love your blog!!!

In my humble opinion, is remembering what’s important to THEM.

Let me try to explain what I’m thinking. In a toddler’s world, nothing matters except their little isolated circle of toys and playthings, their cartoons, their snacks. It’s easy for us to forget that when big brother takes a ball from them, it truly is crushing what’s most important – to THEM. To us, it seems so insignificant, nothing worth getting upset over – but to a three year old, it’s the event of the day that will completely destroy their fun.

When the young child draws on the wall in the playroom with a crayon, he’s created a beautiful work of art that he’s very proud of.  To us, he’s created an hour of work washing and repainting.  Really, is it THAT hard to see what’s more important in this scenario?  Does it really impact OUR lives so much that we rant and rave and get upset?  To me, it’s harmless. To them, it’s a story they had in their minds that they expressed for all to see. 

To the teen, their world revolves around their friends, “reputations”, next Friday night. Even though we can try to explain that in 10 years, whether or not Sally would go out with them won’t matter, or being grounded from the high school football game really won’t ruin their entire school career, or the pimple on the nose really isn’t a shining beacon calling all to look at the center of their face… to a teenager, these things can make or break their lives.  

It’s all too easy for the parents to just blow off what is so very important to these people, because it’s not important to US.

I try, each and every day, to remember what’s most important, what their little lives really revolve around, to my 3 year old, or 10 year old, or 15 year old… I try not to think of their worlds as any less impactful, less significant, than mine – I may have to think about my work, my mortgage, cleaning my house, fixing the furnace, and a thousand other things that are important to ME, so it’s easy to have the fleeting thought that the broken dish in the little pink china tea set doesn’t matter. 

 

But it’s so much more important that I take a few minutes of my time, get the glue, and piece that little girl’s broken plate back together – making her world complete again.

From my group at Facebook! Thanks for gathering all the links, in addition to the ones on my page at the top regarding infant feeding.

http://www.rapleyweaning.com/

http://www.hannahledweaning.blogspot.com

http://www.myblwexperiences.blogspot.com

http://www.babyledweaning.com

http://www.babybanana.biz

http://babyledweaning.blogspot.com

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6762795.stm

http://www.guardian.co.uk/medicine/story/0,,2104953,00.html

I love blogs.  I read them whenever I get a chance.  I never have time for my Koontz novels, but blogs make up for it.  I love people letting me into their lives, a little bit at a time, and I try to do the same… I didn’t truly understand the blogging world until I joined, and I’m hooked.

In reading these blogs, however, it seems as if there’s an overlying theme – pregnancy and childbirth are awful.

I wonder why this is?  Is it because those of us, and there are many, that had pleasant pregnancies and beautiful, great labors just don’t blog about it?  Is it because in chat rooms and pregnancy sites you don’t read about those that didn’t throw up every day, and those that had fantastic labors?  Could it be the Media Effect – pain and suffering sell, but butterflies and rainbows don’t?

Now to stretch this even farther – could this contribute to new soon-to-be-moms predetermined to have uncomfortable pregnancies and labors that aren’t what they dreamed about?? We know, scientifically, the mind controls a LOT.  If one goes into pregnancy assuming there will be puking, boobs that feel like they’re on fire, and the most horrible experience in labor that there is, can it not help to make it so, if they are inundated with information that says it’s ALWAYS this way????

I think it does.  I truly think the barrage of negative information has a definite effect on someone’s experience.  If they never HEAR good, what makes them think it CAN be good?

I challenge each and every mother to blog, write, chat, email, shout to the heavens… just plain SHARE their POSITIVE, wonderful experiences with pregnancy and childbirth with anyone that will listen.  I think we can make a difference.   

I am one that never once had morning sickness.  Ever.  I didn’t have hemmies during every pregnancy (I had them with one, I think because I gained weight so fast), I didn’t have boobs so sore I couldn’t walk fast, I didn’t live on an emotional roller-coaster.  It was fantastic.  I felt great.  I felt healthy.  I felt happy.  It can happen.  It DOES happen.

I had four natural, wonderful, completely and totally intervention free childbirths.  I never went through a childbirth class, and I definitely never listened to everyone telling me how I’d rather die than give birth.   And DEFINITELY ignored everyone that said I had to have drugs – since childbirth is NOT a medical emergency, I knew that’s not so at all.

I listened to my mother, who also had four natural, beautiful childbirth experiences.  I listened to myself, who knew I could go into labor with a positive outlook and make it exactly what I wanted.  I knew I would refuse interventions that were not absolutely necessary to save the life of me or my baby, I knew I would never stay in the hospital more than a few hours because recovering at home is much better for my physical and emotional well-being. 

Breastfeeding was a piece of cake.  Each baby (and mama!) took to it completely naturally.  I never had problems, pains, infections, nothing - at all.  One nursing strike by one baby – caused by a change in soap.  That’s all.

I felt fantastic within an hour or so of each labor.  I was dressed in “street clothes” and making coffee within two hours of each one.  It IS possible to feel great.  It happens a LOT.  My doc actually thinks women are pre-programmed to think they need to be incapacitated for 48 hours after childbirth, laying in bed and feeling terrible.

It’s just not predestined to be that way!!! 

Don’t get me wrong – there are those who have complications both in pregnancy and childbirth – but believe me, complications are NOT the norm.  I want to see those that had great pregnancies and great childbirths be LOUDER than those with horror stories now, and maybe we can make a soon-to-be-mom realize it doesn’t have to be all puke and pain… sound good?

I have overcome.  Yes.  I am good.

Autumn has been “trained” for a while now, but I was just musing over the process today and thought I would write about it.

Let me preface this by saying that both of my boys were potty trained in a weekend.  Less than two days.  I waited until they were 150% ready (close to three years old), showed signs of readiness like discussing pee and poopy, knowing beforehand when they were going to go, and being dry all night long.  One Saturday I took them for their Batman and Spiderman undies, respectively, and by Sunday the diapers were gone.  Without nary an accident.  Easy.  No kidding.

So along comes child #3.  A girl.  So I figure I’ll do the same thing.  Wait until she’s ready.  So I wait.  And wait.  And wait. At one point we decided her husband would have to teach her to use the potty, she had ZERO interest.

So we took the bull by the horns, as it were, and made the first move.  She’s about 2.5 years old.  Dora panties.  Rockin’, dude.  She’s gonna love this – another weekend session and surely she’ll be trained too.

She wanted nothing to do with them.  Or the potty.  So we stopped after 1/2 hour of trying (I’m NOT spending six months teaching a child to use the potty – it either happens or it doesn’t, more power to moms that spend years doing it, I’m lazy). So months pass, and her third birthday passes.  I scoff at the websites that say girls train faster than boys!  This is reason #472 that I don’t read parenting books or rely on websites for information!   Anyways, one day she decided she wanted to use the big potty, and don her glorious purple Dora panties.  And it was good.

And then it wasn’t.  She decided she didn’t want to.  It’s too inconvenient to go potty in the big potty.  It’s easier to go in a diaper.  So we had to put our feet down and insist.  Ugh, how I dreaded what appeared to be a long road ahead for us.

Well, it wasn’t.  Bribery and kitchen timers and panties with a favorite cartoon character.  That’s all that you need.   And this remote control.

So we set the timer for two hours.  Donned the Dora or Princess panties.  Taped a “sticker chart” to the bathroom door and every time she successfully uses the potty, she puts a sticker on.  When the sheet is filled up (about a week), she gets to go to the dollar store and pick out some toys.  Jackpot.  It worked.

So, all in all it only took a couple of weeks for her to really get it “down”.  We’re continuing on with the bribery and timer, though… just to make sure!

The funny problem?  Now she thinks she’s not supposed to go potty unless and until the timer goes off…

Miscellaneous thoughts from the weekend…

Well, we had one of those days on Friday that I would mark near the top of some of the “best family days ever” – I took the kids to Dairy Queen for dogs and ice cream.  Sounds simple, doesn’t it?  But it was – and it was great.  After we ate inside, we got our blizzards and cones and sundaes and sat outside the restaurant and shared bites of each others treats and laughed and got messy and tickled each other with grass and had the perfect, absolutely fantastic time.  Something so easy, yet so many families fail to do.  Not necessarily Dairy Queen – heaven knows if you were to do that a lot you’d be taking up much more room on the grass than before – but just do ANYTHING that takes you away from “life” for a couple of hours.  Wonderful.

I took them out to celebrate because it seems like my client base is beginning to really grow! I’m getting a HUGE increase in inquiries for a shoot, I’m thrilled. I’m enjoying this so much – it’s nice to say, after two decades, that I love my job!

 

Hm.  Oh yeah, I chopped my hair off.  And highlighted it.  I feel like a different person!  I don’t think my hair has been this short, at least since I was about 10.  Yeah, not a big deal to most, but I always had dreams of winding my hair up in a huge braid like Aunt Bea before bed every night.  Maybe not.  Anyways, I like it.  With the success of my career, I may even go more “artist-funky” one day and put some big chunky streaks or something in it.  Just to be fun.  My midlife crisis.

I think hubby likes it, but he’d lie to me, saying it doesn’t matter what my hair looks like.  Sorta like asking him if ”I look fat in this outfit” – you know they’re never honest!  Sigh. 

  

Read a great article in Reader’s Digest over the weekend that delved into the stranger paranoia again – similar to my blog on Stranger Danger.  As a matter of fact, the woman that wrote the article was featured on Bullshit! because she let her (gasp) nine-year old ride home alone on a NYC subway.  It’s funny because, like she says, it was such a NON-event, that it’s become a worldwide event.

It’s a fact that we are safer than we have been since the early 70’s.  She quoted a stat in her article that she’s safer in NYC than she’s been since 1963.   BUT – the media would lead you to believe that every neighboring home holds a molester, behind every bush hides a rapist, driving by every school ground is a murderer.  It simply IS.  NOT.  SO.    Here’s a great quote from it:

Fear is hardly a new parental emotion, of course….. but the fear of letting your children out of sight for even a second – that’s new.  And it feeds not only on legitimate angst but on a steady diet of peer pressure….  “Parents regard every childhood experience from the standpoint of the worst possible outcome,” says Paranoid Parenting author Frank Furedi.  “To do otherwise is to be seen as an ‘irresponsible parent’.”

That’s too bad.  There’s people out there that don’t let their children play in their own driveway.  12 year olds not being allowed to walk 5 houses down to see their best friend.  Yet, the odds of your own family doctor hurting or killing your child is so much greater than some stranger.  Hell, your odds of your child dying in a car accident are 40 times greater than stranger abduction!  I know, I know, you say you can’t avoid taking your child somewhere in the car.  Well, yes you can.  Your child never has to get inside of a car.  Bikes, feet, horses, whatever.  If you must protect them, it seems like the automobile would be a much bigger scare if I were a paranoid parent.  But I digressed – anyways, it was an interesting read.  I wish people would lighten up and turn off the news, keeping in mind it’s a billion dollar industry that feeds on your fears.  It’s not a scary world.  It’s a beautiful, safe one that needs exploring.

 

 

Hm.

Okay, where is Ruby’s parents?  She is only seven years old, taking care of Max all by herself.  And the fact that she has to say his name at the beginning, middle, or end of virtually every sentence she says leads me to believe perhaps she doesn’t have the mental capacity to take care of a toddler all by herself. 

And where are Dora’s parents while she’s galavanting all over the world?

And the woman that does the voice on that danged Wow Wow Wubbzy… is the same one that does the annoying southern chit Sandy the Squirrel on Spongebob.  Someone please put her out of my misery.

And is it really a good idea to have a lisping duck teaching children to talk?  Really?

Okay, I think I’m done now.

As I sit here on this Friday morning and watch you play with your sister on the floor… I realize you are growing so fast.  Too fast.  I think you’ll be walking before you get teeth!  You are eight and a half months right now, and the time has flown.  You are a miracle from God, and I thank Him every day for giving you to me. 

I wanted to make a “time capsule” for you, but I’m really crappy at projects like that.  I never even did baby books for your other brothers and sister.  But I will try to remember some things and blog them, so one day we can print them off or you can look back at them when you’re older (guess I should find out how long they’ll stay on Wordpress, eh?).

Lemme see… you came into this world on a snowy morning, the first baby of the New Year at our hospital.  You were healthy, mama felt great, it was exactly the delivery I planned for (except I wanted to stay home, but that’s a story for later!).  After a brief 5 hour stay, we went home to be greeted by your big brothers and big sister, and Gramma and Grampa, too.  You were (and are) beautiful.  You breastfed like a champ from the minute of birth.  You were a big girl, weighing in at 8 lbs. 5 oz. (same as your big brother Justus!), and haven’t stopped gaining since. 

It looks like you will be a redhead, like big brother Brett, and Mama.  You don’t have much hair right now, and at 8 months, you still don’t have enough for me to put in a bow.  Sniffle.

You sleep safe and sound between me and Daddy in our bed every single night.  You are so glorious to wake up to – little fingers in my nose, little feet pressing on my back or tummy… smiling all the time.  I don’t think you’ve ever woken up crying, and that makes me know you are truly happy.  I carry you in my wrap all the time, bonding closer and closer with you, my perfect little miracle.  You breastfeed a lot – which I love so much.  I nurse and rock you to sleep for every nap and every bedtime, and it’s so wonderful and loving.  You slide into dreamland knowing Mama is right here beside you, and won’t be going anywhere.  How secure you must feel!

I wanted to wait on “real” food with you until six months, but you had other plans… so your first solid food experience was the carrots and rice from my plate, that you grabbed at dinnertime and was faster than Mama at getting at it.  This was the week you turned 5 months old.  You chewed (well, gummed!) it like you’ve been eating for weeks.  We decided you were ready to enjoy our foods along with Mama’s milk now. 

Your first on purpose foray into solids was at our “goodbye” meal for your big brothers, who were heading off to Germany with their biological father for the summer.  You enjoyed crab legs and thai sauce, just like your big sister did!  Autumn’s first solids were also crab legs, they’re so tender and easy to gum, and to this day she’s still a great seafood eater.  I hope to instill in you the love of seafood that the rest of the family has.  Since that day, now, you have enjoyed every food the rest of us have, and so far love it all.  I’m so happy to have child number four that eats such a great variety of foods.  I’m also glad I did the same thing with you that I did with the others and bypassed jarred and pureed foods.  You will benefit so much from this choice, just as we have benefitted from the ease, healthy aspect, and recommendations to do it this way.

You started crawling around 5.5 months, much to our surprise.  Your brothers and sister were much later.   Right now, you stand without support, but haven’t braved that first step yet.  Again, a huge sign my baby, probably my last baby, is growing up too fast.

I dread the day that it will be time for you to move into your sister’s room and sleep with her on her queen size bed.  She moved around 14 months, although she kept coming back to my bed about half the nights (yay!) until you were born.  She’s tried to squeeze in a few times, but I think it’s a little cramped for her!  Ah, yes, this is probably the milestone I most dread.  There’s simply nothing better than waking up next to a baby every single morning.

Perhaps I should talk Daddy into a King Size Bed.  Then you and sissy can come back and sleep with us, for however long you want.  Hmmmm….

I watch Brett prepare to get his driver’s license, I watch Justus begin his adventure into puberty, and I watch Autumn grow so much every day, and am in awe of my beautiful, perfect family. 

I want you to know that Daddy and I love you so much, that you have brought even more joy to our lives with each and every moment we spend with you, and that we can’t wait to journey with you and the rest of our babies into whatever the rest of your lives unveil.  We hope you find the same love that we have found in each other, we hope you are happy and healthy, and we hope we get to bear witness to all of the great things that we know you will accomplish in your blessed life.

I love you, Ayla.

As I read more and more sites that women recommend the “cry-it-out” method to “train” a baby to go to sleep.  I just can’t express my distress over this horrid practice enough… I pound the keyboard as I type…

I hope none of these women are ever left alone, unable to speak for some reason, and everyone simply ignores them because they are fed, have clean clothes, and everyone feels they don’t need soothed. Maybe it’s just not convenient, or not time, or whatever.  Standing outside their rooms would be love and needed attention, ignoring them just to get them to shut up. 

Women even shutting off monitors or using ear plugs. 

Why can’t they realize the PROVEN (yes, proven.  Absolutely unequivicably proven) physical and mental damage that such neglect (did I say neglect?  I MEANT IT) can cause a baby.

Because of the ignorant conclusion that you are spoiling a baby.  Yes, that is ignorant.  And the pathetic information given that “your baby will NEVER go to sleep on his own”.  Yeah, there’s loads of high schoolers out there that still need their mommy to rock them to sleep.  This is one of those statements that make me cringe when I see someone actually took the time to type it out.  Wrong.  Wrong.  Wrong.

Crying until they throw up.  Crying for 30 minutes.  Heck, crying for five minutes is TOO MUCH. 

A baby is not an inconvenience.  A baby is not a responsibility only from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m.  If you weren’t prepared to lovingly parent your child to sleep every single time he needs it, perhaps parenting wasn’t the choice you should’ve made.

So sad.

http://geriatricmama.wordpress.com/2007/06/02/cio-information/

Hmmmm… so we had the horrendous wind storms here in the Midwest last weekend, causing lots of damage… terrible… (although I don’t want to lessen the victims of the actual hurricane in the South - but here in Ohio, a good thunderstorm and a tornado is usually the worst of our natural events)…

So my kids are off school because there’s still no power, and as we were at the playpark today, a single engine plane flew over flying the sign for a roofing company.

Tacky?  Or opportunistic?  I guess I can’t knock ‘em for trying to get the business, but something in me made me think “ambulance chaser”.

Quandry.

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