Sigh.  As we were out taking photos yesterday with the girls, I realized how incomplete I am without my whole family around me.  It feels like something is missing.  Well, I guess it is!!!  5 weeks left before they come home to me.  I’m gonna hug them so hard I’m going to end up behind them.

 

I see.  It’s not just not acknowledging that your information is WRONG, you simply don’t want to admit it.

I’m guessing your baby doesn’t rearface in a carseat at all, right?  After all, an old study showed your baby in a carseat forward facing was safe.   A new study reversed the old study and said it’s better… but since new studies are all crap, you’re fine with your baby forward facing.  You know it’s okay for her to be in the front seat too?  10 years ago, airbags weren’t around.  Let’s ignore the fact that they’re in your car now.  Just ignore the airbag – that makes it not exist.  That’s fantastic!

WAIT A MINUTE!!! You insisted your baby back-sleep because a new study reversed the old one that said tummy sleeping was okay?  Now I’m really confused – you liked that revised study…

Ignoring the new VALID studies just makes you ignorant.  Especially when you attack another mother. 

Get it thru your thick flucking skull - it’s perfectly fine for a 4-6 month old baby, whose family has no history of food allergies, to EAT ANYTHING THEY WANT.

But if you still live in 1990 and want to ignore that, it’s fine.  But never EVER tell someone they’re wrong for giving their baby peanut butter at 6 months.  MOST IMPORTANTLY – QUIT QUOTING THE OLD STUDY!!!  IT’S CHANGED!  IT’S DIFFERENT!!!!!  You just look ridiculous every time you give information from the wrong study. 

*bang bang bang*  That’s the sound of my head banging against the wall.

I’m over this issue.  The absolute facts are there.  I can’t make you smarter, genetics did the damage already.  I guess I’ll just have to hope you shut your mouth in the future.  Ha.  A girl can dream.

 

For those who must be thick-headed, I will try to make it clear:

THERE
IS
NO
REASON
MOST
BABIES
AT
SIX
MONTHS
CAN’T
EAT
ANYTHING
AT
ALL
INCLUDING
SHELLFISH
AND
PEANUT
PRODUCTS!

(from the AAP): Although solid foods should not be introduced before 4 to 6 months of age, there is no current convincing evidence that delaying their introduction beyond this period has a significant protective effect on the development of atopic disease regardless of whether infants are fed cow milk protein formula or human milk. This includes delaying the introduction of foods that are considered to be highly allergic, such as fish, eggs, and foods containing peanut protein.

Is that easier to understand?  You see, you want to keep believing and quoting something that has been revoked/reversed/erased/changed/doesn’t exist anymore/is WRONG.  About a decade ago the AAP, who most people think is the be-all-end-all of infant and child raising, said it may be a good idea to not feed a six month old (and older) infant peanut products, shellfish, strawberries, and other ”Big 8″ allergens.

But you see, T H A T    C H A N G E D .  FORGET what you learned.  It’s different.  Studies prove if your family has no history of food allergies, more power to you.  Enjoy.  It’s normal.  Seafood is healthy.  Peanut products are full of protein.  Strawberries are a healthy fruit.  It’s wonderful that my babies can eat so healthy so early.

YAY.  Stanford University published a study in 2005, but the AAP confirmed it in 2008.  Your doc should be up on the latest study.  Make sure he gets a copy of the AAP one – it’s the “biggie”.  Talk to him about your family history.

And you know what?  If you don’t want to feed them healthy foods like crab or strawberries, more power to you.  But do not attack me for doing it my way, the right way, for us.

I hope I spelled it out well enough for you.  I typed slow so you could keep up.

 

 

For those who are interested, here are my favorite feeding links:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9646449

 That’s right, rice cereal may not be the best first food. Peanut butter doesn’t have to wait until after the first birthday. Offering fruits before vegetables won’t breed a sweet tooth. And strong spices? Bring ‘em on.

http://www.borstvoeding.com/voedselintroductie/vast-voedsel/rapley-guidelines.html

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=799563&highlight=self-feed&page=27

http://kidshealth.org/research/aap_changes.html

The long and short of the report: Avoiding certain food allergens from the get-go has been proven to help only those babies with a high risk of food allergies (that is, those with a parent or sibling with allergies). But for everyone else, avoiding known allergens — during pregnancy, breastfeeding, and when introducing foods in the infant and toddler years — hasn’t been shown to have much effect on preventing allergies.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/startingsolids/babyledweaning/

…babies who are allowed to feed themselves by being offered a selection of nutritious finger foods can easily join in with family meals from the start, and are less likely to refuse foods or become fussy eaters as they grow older. She considers that many childhood feeding problems stem from a child’s unwillingness or inability to accept foods which require chewing, and that these problems become apparent when babies move from purées to “second-stage” foods which contain lumps. She also suggests that the baby food industry puts unnecessary pressure on parents to introduce puréed foods into their babies’ diets at an early age.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2007/jun/17/health.medicineandhealth

Feeding babies on pureed food is unnatural and unnecessary, according to one of Unicef’s leading child care experts, who says they should be fed exclusively with breast milk and formula milk for the first six months, then weaned immediately on to solids.

Gill Rapley, deputy director of Unicef’s Baby Friendly Initiative and a health visitor for 25 years, said spoon-feeding pureed food to children can cause health problems later in life

She blames the multimillion-pound baby food industry for persuading parents that they need to give their babies pureed food. ‘Sound scientific research and government advice now agree there is no longer any window of a baby’s development in which they need something more than milk and less than solids,’ Rapley said.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6762795.stm

http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;121/1/183

 

Ah, America.  The land of the free.  You do it your way, I do it mine.  But never tell me my way is WRONG.  Cuz it sure isn’t- by any definition.

 

You’ll probably never read this, you probably don’t even know I have a web log… but I wanted to say it anyways.

I met you nearly a decade ago, at the lowest point in my life.  Newly, violently separated with an eight month old baby and a 5 year old toddler.  Just moved into a brand new home, scared shitless about my future.  Before this, you were a friend – after this, you were my best friend.

You waited with me through all the court hearings.  You held my hand through all the lawyer visits.  You hugged me tight when the police came to help him move out.  You raced to the store to replace everything the man stole from me.  You jumped so high to ensure I was happy.  My head still spins thinking about it.  TWO YEARS you waited for me to be officially “single”.  You were and are so patient with me.  Two years you watched me crumble every time I had to let my boys go to him.  Two years you saw me shake when the phone rang and it was him.  Two years you loved me, with all of my baggage, all of my history, and you didn’t have to.  You didn’t owe me anything.  You were young, single, handsome, funny, and a great catch for any gal.  But for two years you stood by me.

You took my boys into your heart just like they always had a spot reserved there.  Your family enveloped me in their traditions, homes, and arms without question. 

Then we married.  And as of today, seven years ago today, I still want to hug you so hard I end up on the other side of you.  I still get giddy when I hear you pull up in the driveway.  I still melt in your blue eyes.  I truly think I love you more today than yesterday.  And I wish I knew how to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. 

And then you gave me two perfect miracles in our daughters.  How I could ask for or deserve any more in my life, I don’t know.

Thank you for the past decade.  Here’s to many more decades.  I love you.  Happy Anniversary.

 Man, I had a day yesterday.  Hubby called in sick, so he hogged the puter all day, couldn’t get on… but I got Brett’s room cleaned from top to bottom, Justus’ room cleaned from top to bottom… EVERY SINGLE STITCH of Justus’ clothes were washed, sorted for sizes (getting rid of some, some tshirts will go to Autumn), and reorganized in a new closet organizer.  Steam cleaned the floors.  Changed all the sheets, flipped the mattresses.  Sealed off their rooms..

 

I know now what the problem is that new moms have.  I think some veteran moms do too.

It’s TMI.  They’ve been hit at every angle by information.  Too much.  Too often.  By their doctors (who are not always right), by the Internet, by the media, by friends, by family, by books, by tapes, by commercials, by retails stores, by strangers.

It’s made something that really is not that complex into something so complicated that it’s perpetuating more and more “experts” and opinions. 

It seems that mothers no longer do what feels right – if an expert didn’t say it was right, if it’s not on the right “timeline”, if the “milestones” aren’t met, then it must not be done. 

Don’t use walkers – kids fall down open stairs.  Use pacifiers – they reduce the risk of crib death.  Use sleep positioners so they don’t roll. Use this $30.00 tub instead of the kitchen sink.  Don’t use sleep positioners, they’re a suffocation hazard.  Buy this monitor that “prevents” an unpreventable syndrome.  Don’t give table foods – how ridiculous!  Sterilize bottles in this expensive mechanism so that as soon as they hit the air they’re no longer sterile.  Don’t use pacifiers – you’ll mess up their teeth.  Co-sleep because it reduces the risk of SIDS.  Buy a special mixer to blend food to give baby, because for some reason you can’t give them your food.  Wrap your crib mattress in this $100.00 piece of cloth.  Watch this DVD, it will make your baby smarter.  You must have a video monitor for $100.00!  Buy this tasteless jar of food, it’s healthy.  Change your baby on this $300.00 table.   Give baby this bland cereal first, because that’s what the book says.  Don’t co-sleep, you will roll over on baby.  Don’t let baby watch Baby Einstien, it will cause autism.  Buy this white noise machine because the fan you already own isn’t good enough. AAAAAUGH!

I see a big trend of supply and demand.  If I were to publish an article, which anyone can do, that said babies that wear purple have an IQ that’s 3 points higher than babies that wear other clothing colors – then I ran out and began manufacturing purple clothes – I would be rich in no time.  It’s all about money.  The parenting industry is a multi-BILLION dollar industry, and most of the stuff they sell is unnecessary CRAP.

If a mom stopped for just a minute, did what she felt was right, forgot studies and books and experts, I think her stress level would be cut in half, her baby would be happier because of it, and chance are very high that the choices she would make WITHOUT referring to an “expert” would be just fine.

Relax.  It’s not rocket science.

 

 

********************************************

Ayla and her “See-Food”… mmmm!  She loves mama’s pasta and sauce!

 

 

Holy Cow! Or should I say, Holy Mom’s Milk!

Ayla went in this morning for a quick appointment for one vaccine (we spread them out liberally)… they weighed her in at 18 lbs 14 oz.  She has gained TWO POUNDS in one month!!!

Wowza… maybe her newfound interest in our food will slow her weight gain down a little – not that I need to, but WOW!  

Daddy took us to the Mongolian Barbeque today to help me get over my depression about the boys leaving… Ayla could NOT get enough crab.  So we have another little seafood eater here.  We’re thrilled, it’s so good for her to eat healthy seafood, and we love it so much as a family.  So she enjoyed lots and lots of crab, some salmon, and my rice with Thai Peanut sauce (I think?  Teryaki and Peanut sauce makes it Thai, I believe).  She’s such a happy eater!

Now… onto the boys’ room to find 4 month old bowls of cereal and 10 month old cans of soda, I’m sure…

Sigh.

 

My two biggest babies leave me in less than 24 hours to travel Europe for two months.

On one hand I’m thrilled - what an opportunity for them!  On the other, I’m devastated.  I’m going to miss the great political discussions with Brett, and the endless help and humor that Justus offers.

Although he’s a teenager, and I talk smack about him, Brett has a heart of gold.  He’s so smart, it completely stuns me sometimes.  He’s got the typical teenage attitude, but I see through it.  He does his chores without grumbling, even picking up dog poop, and is quick to make me laugh.  He can ace a test at school without even studying, and has great friends that I adore – I feel like I’m a mom to a lot of them.

Justus has the biggest heart of any kid I’ve ever met.  He has his problems too – a little hyper, sometimes drives me crazy (LOL), but man, ask him to jump and he really does want to know how high.  I’ve never seen a little person express so much love to his sisters as Justus can.  He’s even risked an injury to himself to ensure Ayla is safe (see blog about him falling down the stairs).  He hears Ayla cry, he comes running to see if he can help.  I watch him with Autumn when he doesn’t realize anyone’s there – and he’s an angel.  And imagination!  Wow!  That boy can write a complete story that would rival what Stephen King started out writing when he was a boy.  I really am encouraging this trait – he’s so talented it scares me.

My God I love these boys.  And my God am I going to miss them.  My heart truly aches thinking about them leaving me for eight weeks, and my eyes wet just typing it.

Today we’re taking them out to their favorite restaurant for an early dinner – the Japanese Steak House – then back home to watch a couple of movies, eat some crap, and make sure they’re ready to go.  Justus is very upset at missing some milestones of Ayla’s – scooting, probably crawling, eating some good foods, etc… so today he’ll have the honor of sharing his crab or shrimp with her so he’s part of her “first solids (almost)” milestone.  My heart grows to know that he thinks about these things!

Brett has promised to take lots of pictures… I hope he remembers!

Sniffle.