God bless all of you!  You are my sanity in this otherwise crazy world!

I visit many different birth boards, and am active on about half of them.  Yours is by far the most sane, well-balanced, undrama’ed (is that a word??) and phenomenal board of all.  It’s wonderful to be with a group of women who have similar philosophies and don’t freak if someone disagrees.

I do want to add that it’s very VERY difficult to post our wonderful co-sleeping, BF, never-CIO, NCB opinions on mainstream boards.  Some of those moms can get SO defensive and attack because they don’t do it the same way… but I have pressed forward, have helped uncountable moms learn the ways of the AP, GD parent, and that makes it all worth it.

That’s all!  Resume your normal programming!

 

About the choices I make for myself, my pregnancy, and my family.

Every day I’m more secure in my decisions.  This security seems to get solidified the more I read on the Internet.  I’m so confident it’s wonderful not to feel the urge or even have the need to defend myself or my choices.  I’m so thrilled that I am unequivicably 100% right in all of my parenting choices for my children.  They’re healthy, happy, absolutely safe, tended to with every fiber of our love.

Every mother should feel this confident – regardless of the choices they make.  I feel bad for those that are in so much doubt or so insecure about their choices that they feel they need to lash out – moms have much more natural instinct than they give themselves credit for!

I love being 100% in control of my healthcare and pregnancy.  I love that when my baby comes that our decisions will be 100% right for OUR baby.  I love that those decisions are so easy and natural and instinctive.

I love that I have no doubts or questions about my skills.  They’re perfect.  For my family.

I just love life today.  It’s Friday, I have two straight days to spend with my fantastic family, to hold my adoring husband.. another weekend closer to meeting the perfect little healthy addition to our happy home… can it GET any better?  I think not…

 

Had good appointment today.  Near-death blood pressure back down, Ayla “measuring” right on track at 36 weeks!  Lost two pounds, making my total weight gain 11 lbs. this pregnancy.  Quite the contrast to the near 70-lb gains with the other three!

Hoping to hold out until December 4th at minimum – doc said she’ll make me stay in the hospital 48 hours if I go any sooner… and Lord knows I only wanna be there a couple of hours!

Here’s a recent pic, Brett was making me laugh so it’s not the greatest, but oh well…

 

 

I peruse “birth boards” – boards full of women due with their babies around the same time I am.

I frequent a December 2007 one.  I’m beginning to get more saddened and frustrated by the day.

When did pregnancy stop lasting 40+ weeks?  When did women decide that they are inconvenienced and need to have drugs and surgery to end this life-changing problem?  When did women decide nature was no longer capable of ensuring a healthy happy baby?

When did we decide doctors are gods and can never do wrong?   Should never be questioned?  Due in December, there are women letting doctors dictate their due dates because of family vacations.  Because of holiday celebrations.  Pathetic.

When did women decide that nature, what their bodies were made to do, is not adequate?  They won’t touch perfectly safe deli meat, or drink a cup of coffee, and preach non-stop about the harm of a can of tuna during their pregnancies, but choose to have needles put in their spines and drugs injected into their systems, and ultimately into their babies, to ensure their “comfort”.   It doesn’t bother me so much that women end up doing this – it bothers me that first-time moms ASSUME they will have to.  Or that women won’t even give their bodies a CHANCE to do what it does best.  How does one know you won’t push for just a few minutes and have the baby?  How does one not know or just try to believe childbirth can be pain-free, or at worst just uncomfortable?  Is the media to blame for this?  I just want more women to give it a try, instead of asking for the epidural when they’re 4 months pregnant.

Or worse, they will elect for major surgery without a medical reason, just so they know “what day baby will be here”.

I’m frustrated.  I’m sad.  Such an infantessimal amount of labors actually need medical intervention.  Yet the mindset of the American woman is that childbirth is an emergency – that without a doctor, pain and death is imminent.  If they only knew the dangers they subject themselves to just by walking thru the doors of a hospital, let alone letting a doctor dictate every move that’s made.  If they only knew the risks involved with letting so many people intervene.  This proves the backwards thinking of American women.  Other countries are so advanced in their thinking on labor & childbirth – they know that at home, or in a birthing center, with a midwife and their family is the safest and best way to bring these miracles into the world.  And nope, they don’t have increased infant mortality, like the myths our doctors and media like to spread.

I wish I could get the message to women to be proactive in their own healthcare.  If I hear “my doctor says I have to” or “it’s hospital policy”, or “I trust my doctor, he has the degree” one more time, I’m liable to scream.  It’s MY body.  I’m the paying customer.  This is no different than ordering a hamburger – if I’m not satisfied, I change the order, I demand it to be made the way I want.  The guy making the burger could be wrong.  Just because my doctor has a piece of paper hanging on a wall, doesn’t make her infallible.  I love my doc.  I do trust her.  Does that mean I let her do unnecessary medical procedures on me just “because”?  Nope.  I would be STUPID to do that.  Anyone that doesn’t question the necessity of intervention, anyone that doesn’t ask why their doc is doing something, doesn’t have the intelligence or common sense to be a parent.  Get control of your life and your body.  Your doc is NOT God.  Period.  No questions asked.

 

Wow, I feel better now!

 

34 weeks today.  I can hardly believe how time has flown.  Although I hope and pray Ayla keeps her Mom’s Inn reservations until 40 weeks, it has hit me that in two more weeks we won’t stop her departure if she were to decide to come out to see us!  Wow!!

Autumn is so excited to meet “Baby Ayla” as she insists on calling her.  I really don’t anticipate any adjustment problems at all – she seems so eager to help with everything now, from putting pillows behind my back to “helping me up off the couch”, and non-stop talks about how she’ll help Baby Ayla eat and sleep, and will rock her and play with her… I’m so eager to watch them interact!

What a true blessing God has given me.  Three beautiful, perfect children, a wonderful loving husband, so far a perfect (albeit exhausting!) pregnancy, and soon another miracle to hold. 

Thank you, God.  My heart is filled with joy.

34 week appt… sigh.

 

Well, I have jinxed myself by saying how uneventful and wonderful this pregnancy has been… lol!

I have only gained about 13 lbs. this time – quite the change from the 60+ with the other three!  Yay!  I have “measured (fundal) right on track” for Ayla right every appointment.  My blood pressure is near-death, pregnant or not…

Today at my appointment my blood pressure was a little high.  All of the sudden I’ve jumped two weeks “ahead” on my measurements… and doc is concerned about my exhaustion and my leg.  Instead of two weeks, she wants me back next week.  She has given me permission to travel Thursday, but obviously if Ayla isn’t here by Christmas Day, I’m not traveling then.

Sigh.  We always figured Ayla would come a little early – December 4th is my “earliest” for maximum safety and the least amount of time spent in the hospital (I’ll ask to go home immediately again).  Guess I need to rest some, let the boys take care of me, and hope for a few more weeks!!!

Is THIS heaven?

 

Have I found it? 

Sunday morning… a beautiful little girl in her silver satin pajamas climbs into bed between Daddy and Mama.  As we all sleep peacefully for a short time more, the sun rises – and we begin to hear those adorable little giggles.

As our noses are pinched, and our lips are kissed, and our hands are rubbed, our beautiful little angel lets us know it’s time to get up.  I glance over at Gary when he doesn’t think I’m looking and see such unwavering love in his eyes as he hugs and laughs with our little girl, this little miracle we created with our endless love… and he must feel my eyes on him as he glances at me, smiles, kisses my hand, and says “I love you so much”.

Now I realize, in a few short weeks, another perfect little angel will be snuggled between us all night.  Autumn will find room when she wants to come in too – I will make sure of that.  I often wonder how I could possibly fit any more love in my heart – how it could physically not burst from the pressure – and then I realize that without my wonderful soulmate and all of my little miracles, I wouldn’t have any idea what heaven on Earth is really like.

I’m so proud!!

 

I had Justus’ parent-teacher conference last night, and he is completely wrapped up in SOCIAL STUDIES… whoda thunk it?  He’s advancing in every single class, and “meeting expectations” in math – so we’re going to work a bit with him on his fractions, and beginning algebra.  He’s even tutoring a first grader and also signing up for many extracurricular activities!  This time it’s chorus… he’s not much of a sports guy, so I’m glad to see him take an interest in cartooning, singing, and other classes.

Brett is really exceeding my expectations.  Nothing but A’s and high B’s (except for Spanish, which got a “C”, but I’m not losing sleep over that one!) on his grade card.  He has greatly improved on turning his homework in, and he is definitely seeing the results of his hard work.  At his parent-teacher conference they discussed his complete boredom at the classes, they’re frankly just not a challenge.  He’s a whiz at computer programming, science is natural to him, and of course he loves his politics and current affairs (poor social studies teacher and the debates I’ll bet Brett involves him in).  They will be offering him additional work to help out teachers and possibly other students to keep him stimulated.  I want to see him start tutoring other kids.  He’s also been really working out on his weights and doing cardio… he’s thinking about baseball, signups aren’t until January – we’ll just have to see if he’s still interested then.  My little genius!  I’m so proud of both of them… I get all weepy! LOL!

 

If you only knew the heartache, pain, sorrow… and the happiness, joy, and love… that my sister has gone through.

Who is my hero?  My sister.

She’s endured more than anyone should ever have to.  And sometimes she’s endured less.  While she’s beautiful (inside and out) and happy (sometimes just out) she’s also strong, determined, intelligent, willful, and often too stubborn.

Nope – every decision of hers hasn’t been the best.  Who in their glass house can say all of theirs have been?  Regrets – there’s been a few (hm, is that a song?) – but again, we all should take inventory of our lives before we feel the right to judge.  From apologetic to “screw you, I’m not sorry”, she has covered it all.  And rightfully so.

I love you, my incredible sister.  You are in my mind every day.  We may be polar opposites, but perhaps that’s what makes a magnet such an amazing work of science.

No.

 

This blog is against everything I believe in, because I know if I feed a filthy stray dog infested with fleas and rabies, he’ll never leave me – but I’m going to feed you right now.  Enjoy.

I was going to go “private” because stalkers are reading my blog and thinking it’s all about them – LMAO, get over it, you have no idea what I’m even talking about in my anger thread… I’ve been over you, your minions, and your completely made up “it’s all about me” drama for months…

But I have decided since I’m a grown up, very much above it, and am using this blog for information for other grownups, I am not going to let any pathetic stalkers cause me to miss out on helping others.

If I am so special, important, significant, and loved, keep stalking me, babes!  I am enjoying that I have your every waking thought.  Spread your made up stories (which are painfully obvious – really more like ramblings, I guess), talk trash… it’s truly wonderful to know that I am so important in your life that you focus your energy on me… it makes me feel TERRIFIC that you need my attention this much!  Smack my arse and call me Jodie Foster!

To my friends, I apologize for any threatening emails you’ve gotten from these people.  I too have received death threats and other moronic emails – my best advice is to “wash” your emails and simply bounce them back.  Believe me when I say I’m sorry they dragged you in, however we all know we cannot be 100% responsible for what comes out of our toddler’s mouths, so I can’t be held too accountable for what comes out of these other children’s mouths, right?

Love you guys, hope you enjoy the information I’m trying to add to the blog.  I’ve compiled it from many sources such as Mothering.com and other less-mainstream birth boards.  Great data out there to be found!

Newer Posts »